Posts
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Wednesday, June 16th, 1999 14:44 PM
Subject: RE Coming down
Hey…haven’t been online for a few days…so sorry for the lack of response…been a shitty week…working long nights…the fun drunks where so playful…one tried to accidently kill himself by running in front of traffic…
what a wonderful game that is…
I even tried to write a song about it; thought was okay until I realised I’d just rewritten Gordon Lightfoot’s “Simple Man”.
And as for last Saturday…? Yeah it was a good night…really cool night…I have to say I do like those nights…sorta sits with my personality of being in the moment…because I truly am when I’m on e…in the moment…you know…
And I thought Elsa seemed like a top chick too…I’m sure we mainly connected because of the night…but I did enjoy her company…
Did she end up getting together with that guy? He was really keen…though I have to say the goatee and short hair and square glasses feels so east coast try-hard…plus I don’t think looking ‘good’ is an excuse for not showering…
Looking forward to Saturday by the way…will Elsa be there? It’d be good to meet over a bottle of wine this time…
Stacey
PS So sorry for asking you ‘if you were there because of me’ so indulgent… feel like a real solipsist for asking (guess who just learnt a new word)… I can get so caught up in myself…slap me next time…or if that seems weird (man on chick violence) just ask some random chick to slap me instead…
im just gonna throw it out there, this one is not sitting "right" with me for some reason. Can't quite put my finger on it.. maybe the undercurrent of Stacey judging Elsa.. or something.. im not sure. I certainly didn't read it in the usual Stacey tone. Something is different.
ReplyDelete..and it does sound like she had a shitty week. Perhaps there is something to learn from that..
Drug people… ugh.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hiranga... although i'm thinking that possibly the reason it doesn't sound like her is because she was hurt that he didn't say he was there because of her. She didn't really know how to take it because maybe now she feels like he's moving on and not as into her as before. I'm thinking that's why she took so long to write. Also the fact that she kind of threw it in as an after thought says that it was on her mind but she didn't want it to seem like it was a big deal... And as far as the E... well, she could use that as an excuse if she wants, but it's funny that she remembers all these specific details about this random guy, down to the B.O. Anyway... yeah this was just weird.
ReplyDeleteHiranga, I think you're right. Something is different in Stacey's tone. Perhaps she's not happy. Unhappy at what though?
ReplyDeleteWell picked.
Chris D' - I hear ya. It's so yoof to wear your usage as a badge of honour.
ReplyDeleteChris, I think you analysis is spot on. Though I don't think Stacey would even be aware of it. Why is love is so complicated. Maybe it's because you truly have to let down your guard and take off your emotional armour.
ReplyDeleteI mean - how hard is that?
i am trying to think of a joyous way the week could have brought Stacey the word solipsist....cos what keeps going thru my mind is a pretentious boy called Marcus flinging it at her...
ReplyDeletethis email does feel sad and negative ... everything is undercut...and elsa is mentioned far too often...jealous?
cos Dom is her minds lifeline.. i truly believe that ... no matter what her body has been doing...Dom is the one who has made her smile and breathe and be ..in those moments that the emails are read....he has been giving her gifts of connection and humour and love..and she doesnt want to lose it...WW
ps stephen ...i am not nearly funny enough to be Dom!!!... but thanx WW
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how your mind and body can be in two separate places... whoever said you can't be in two places at once has never been in love with someone they aren't physically with.
ReplyDeletehmmm.. deep, guys.. very deep.
ReplyDeletebring on wednesday!
I think I might casually read this, but I don't know if I can be so into it anymore. I may be agnostic, and totally for personal rights and open-mindedness, but I'm extremely against drugs. Thinking E does anything for you but make you an idiot is ridiculous. The getting drunk was bad enough as it is.
ReplyDeleteStacey is an idiot, and Dom is too.
WW, lovely to read your words as always. I love how you say Dom is her mind's lifeline. What a compliment.
ReplyDeleteChris spot on - great follow up on WW's mind's lifeline comment. Like Hiranga says 'deep'
ReplyDeleteAnd more so, how grateful I am to have a level of depth in these comments. Smart and romantic folk. Love to you all.
Hey given up smoking - so I'm a tad emotional.
ReplyDeletePS Don't smoke too. Please don't smoke.
ReplyDeleteRandall, I dearly hope you'll still drop in very now and then. Your comments are always strong, smart and kind. You've always been considerate of both sides.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about usage. Chris D' had the same response. And if it helps - there's not a lot of drug talk in the emails to come.
I too have a similar response. I've never been an addict but I have been co-dependent. I've also lost people.
It's so fucking draining and boring. And I too learnt there's nothing cool about using. Indeed the truth is; you become boring.
I think I should also stress that the experience we're going through with the blog is in no way advocating using.
If you do think you have a problem, please contact your local helpline or message me too.
Anyway, thanks again, Randall and hope to read more of your comments in the future.
Stacey's asking Dom for something... not quite sure what though. She's trying to reach out without seeming like she's reaching out. Maybe it was her "shitty week," or maybe seeing Dom with another girl pissed her off (which would be hypocritical)... So many maybes. I don't think Stacey knows what she's asking for either.
ReplyDeleteso she's upset he didn't go there for her, she wants marcus but Elsa just deserves a snooty, smelly guy, she wants to use pretentious words just as part of the whole "remember the fun we had being each other's mind's lifeline" (btw WW u shud totally copyright that phrase, im so tempted to call eternal dibs)
ReplyDeletethe lady just doesn't want to grow up and leave her favourite toy does she? This is essentially such a mean mail... u can almost see her hurt radiate through the painful pictures she paints of Elsa and the guy...
Lately, it has been way too easy for me to internalize everything that has been happening to both of them... it had actually started to hurt...
the last few mails have truly made me wonder... whats more important, the emotion itself or why & for whom you feel it?
Sorry, Stephen. I just get so riled up about it because I've had some serious problems with people and their drug/smoking/drinking problems. I, myself, do not, and will not, do any of those.
ReplyDeleteI'll still peep in, then, if it's a bit more mellow about drugs in the future. Good to hear.
Jason, ah the confusion of love - hey?
ReplyDeleteIpshi, wondering where you were at. Missed you. Hope he internalizing hasn't been too acidic.
ReplyDeleteGreat philosphic ponder:
"...whats more important, the emotion itself or why & for whom you feel it..."
it might be too late to hear others thoughts on this but if you feel like posting the question again, please do.
For what it's worth for me - it's gotta be the whom - gotta be.
Randall, glad you'll peep in every now and then. And I should stress that my previous comment about usage and addiction wasn't directed to you. It was a global call to anyone reading.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hear you on the knowing folk that've indulged. It's always so draining and perhaps time to share one of my favourite jokes:
Q: What's the difference between an alcholic and a Junkie?
A: Both will steal your wallet but the junkie will help you look for it.
Perhaps gallows humour and for those who've suffered, helped, walked away from a dear one then hopefully this will make you smile.
This e-mail has jealousy written all over it. Not only that Elsa and Dom came together, and that she ended up grabbing attention from other men; but also because Dom didn't go to the party because of her.
ReplyDelete"I can get so caught up in myself…slap me next time…"
Quite the invitation. Especially considering she freaked when Dom spilled his drink on her.
She is right however about getting caught up in herself.
OT: Yes there once was a 'just in case' and it didn't work out with him either.
Yet another OT: Glad to hear you've butt out. Congrats =D
Randall stop being so self righteous. People use drugs, you shouldn't be so narrow minded as to stop reading this because you have different values.
ReplyDelete