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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

139th email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Saturday July 20th, 1999 10:21 AM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE Had an adventure

Stacey, okay not sure what’s going on here but I feel I need to state; nay to stress that at no time did I understand your position (or understand why I used the word nay).

But seriously, I never pretended to understand nor did I secretly believe I did understand and was playing it down thus being patronising.

See that would be shitty and I am not a shitty person. No fucking way.
I suggest what you should do is believe that I truly didn’t understand – just like that great Elliot Smith song.

“You once talked to me about love
And you painted pictures of a Never-Never Land
And I could've gone to that place
But I didn't understand. I didn’t understand”

Because it’s true; I didn’t understand either. Really. Really. Really.
(And boy do I love that song)

Finally my offering of hope in previous emails was because I trusted you did understand.

I trusted you’d make the right decision for yourself.

I trusted you.

Anyway I apologise if I offended you. It was ne’er my intention (as is never using the word ne’er again)



  1. Yep. That sure showed her!

  2. Labels: Elliot Smith, I Didn't Understand, Sorry, Softcock

    Dom, I am disappoint

  3. What a little bitch. He should not be apologising to her. Although I like his implication that she broke his trust, with 'I trusted you' repeated twice, almost like an accusation

  4. Ok so its not exactly the ultimatum he needed to give but I actually think it was a good response to her ranting and over reaction to him offering support.

    I like that he clarifies that at no point did he say he understood, I love the 'I am not a shitty person, no fucking way' to me that reads that Stacey you are being a shitty person, and Marcus is a shitty person, thats why I am not stooping to your level and ranting back at you, but I am saying that I dont understand, just as all of us readers dont understand why Stacey would choose to remain in a toxic relationship, especially when Dom is there and a far better choice.

    I like that he constantly shows himself to be the better man.

    Speaking of trust in the past tense also makes a strong statement, he doesnt trust her now, and he is pretty much saying that I trusted you to break of this pathetic relationship with Marcus, not for him but for herself. Thats what I love about Dom, he has the ability to care for her whether she chooses him or not, now that is love.

    or maybe I am reading in to it too much?

  5. oh and woo hoo, I am a little computer illiterate at times and I finally worked out how to have an account! no more anonymous for me:-)

  6. Oh come on guys... He just told her EVERYTHING... ok, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but first the song
    “You once talked to me about love
    And you painted pictures of a Never-Never Land
    And I could've gone to that place
    But I didn't understand. I didn’t understand”
    He is letting her know that she painted the picture of him being her favorite thing, and while he had hope and would go there with her, he wasn't sure if that was her real state of mind or if she was just sad and upset so he was being cautious. I also like how he STRESSED the fact that he was not a shitty person. He was letting her know he wished her the best no matter what she did. He tried to make light a bit too often in my opinion with the wordplay at the beginning and end, but this was still him saying he was being cautious. While I don't exactly agree with it I can understand it. I still think it's time to be ballsy (pardon the word play there) but for goodness sake...

  7. I suppose I could look at it that way, Chris. Though all of it is blotted out by the fact that he did that little apology at the end.
    I like Dom. I really do. But I am sick to death of subtext and his disappointed tone. It is no longer the time where plain disappointment is acceptable for me. I just want him to flat out say:
    Dear Stacy,
    You're being a stupid bitch. Please discontinue either being a stupid bitch or talking to me.
    Love, Dom.
    In his own words, of course.

  8. Anon (10:37) a sigh of love or frustration?

  9. Jamie, I am dissapoint. Love it.
    I am too.

    Indeed I am forgive.

  10. RedYeti, at last a glimmer of hope for our Dom; a hope that is extraploated with dexterity by Chris.

  11. Actaully sorry all for a tone of snarkiness in my replies. Like Chris I found there was an interesting subtext to Dom's response - one that doens't shut down the conversation but keeps it alive.

    I agree that he's still not being completely honest. I mean for that he has to come out and say:

    I love you.

    There's hope I guess. And maybe that's what Stacey's picking up on. A lack of true hoenbsty; something int he text. She might not know what it is - but I think (like most of you) she too is geetign ughed and sighed and dissapointed by Dom's reluctance to truly open his heart and stop being the romantic.

  12. Oops sorry Cindy - you too offer hope for our Dom. What a great analysis. Love it. And of course great tos ee your names in lights. Or at least headers.

  13. Beautifail, gosh am I a sucker because I still have hope and want them to get together?

  14. Stephen, I must be a sucker too! I just want them to find each other again and stop this fighting! OH DOM.

  15. why does he always back down from her!!

  16. He said everything. Kept the humor (nay, ne'er) to keep the tone light, though the message was serious.

    Second para just reinforces what any sane person already clearly sees, namely that Dom's previous e-mail was neither patronizing or judgmental.

    He just told her she was a shitty person, and while he could see how being a shitty person could cloud one's outlook on other persons, he, Dom, was not a shitty person. The clear implication is, I really don't have time for shitty people.

    Thus the song lyrics: "I could've gone there, but I didn't understand." Didn't understand her true character was not quirky lost fierce girl but fucked up selfish bitch girl, although he ought to have known that way early - everyone here did.

    Of course, since we're spoiled, obviously she pretends to get her shit together and stop being such a whore for a bit at least so this can progress somewhere, but for Dom's sake I wish it wouldn't. He'll be happier in the long run.

    I've been an anon poster numerous times, but I'll claim this one.

  17. Sorry, forgot to add:
    Everyone is getting hung up on the apology. Don't. Its just a blow off. Its what is done in polite conversation. It means nothing because he has lost respect for her, and thus it is not an intimate apology, purely form and function. Dom has proven to be deeper than the words right?

  18. Key word: Trusted. Simple. She disrespected and possibly/probably (I'm undecided here) lied to him.

    Actually, she did lie to him - "I'm going to write a list of my favourite things and put 'Dom' at the top." Hmmmm.

    Dom's tried as hard as he could and is clearly tired. It's time he dropped here and made us all feel better.

    This is like a long soap script.


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