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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

132nd email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: Dom Borax
Sent: Monday July 16th July 1999, 23:29 PM
Subject: RE RE Had an adventure

Hi Dom, sorry I missed your messages yesterday…I had to deal with the fallout...

Marcus came over in the afternoon…he was in tears…

I tried to get him to leave but he was a right old mess…he wanted to know what he did wrong and why I was being so blunt…

I showed him the email I sent you…the story of Bill the blind kind woollen underlay customer… (as I’m calling it now)…so he could get a better sense of where my head was at…

He read it…he took his time…

when he finished I hoped that he’d see that my issue was beyond him…but instead he became jealous…

…he demanded to know why I was telling you the story before him…it seemed so personal…

I told him that I trusted you and that I know you’d understand…

This was the worst thing I could have told him…for I had ostensibly just told him that I didn’t trust him and he didn’t understand me…

Logically he was offended… (I actually feel bad for that one)

…he wanted to know how long I’d trusted you…how long you had understood my actions…

I told him that we kinda understood each other from the beginning…since we started emailing…

”Emailing… how long have you been emailing? How many emails?”

At this point I faltered…

“I want to read these emails!” He demanded.

“I’m not going to show you these emails.” I replied.

And as I was saying it…I realised how important these emails are to me...I would never share them with anyone else…they’re deeply personal…they’re the real me…

See… in real life…my emails are quite happy, generous, stupid even…I never tell people how I truly feel…I never share my insecurities…I’d never share my doubts…

“I want to read these emails. Now!” He demanded.

He started railing that I was being intellectually unfaithful and embarked on one of Marcus’ constructed and cruel monologues...

…but as he talked, I wasn’t listening…I was thinking of you…and how you’d seen me deeper than anyone…and though we’ve slipped occasionally…I considered checking into the Hilton hotel, running a bath and writing a list of my favourite things – placing you on top…


Stacey

40 comments:

  1. "And as I was saying it…I realised how important these emails are to me...I would never share them with anyone else…they’re deeply personal…they’re the real me…"

    I feel quite bad for reading these now, and getting so much enjoyment out of them. The last line makes me very optimistic for future emails though

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  2. My heart fluttered. Oh gosh.

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  3. What an email! Finally she is actually putting it out there, TO me it seems that Stacey is basically saying its always been you. How wonderful to be able to finally be brave enough to tell someone how you feel about them, I am almost jealous, I wish i had the guts to do the same thing.
    Cindy

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  4. Thank god somebody grew a pair, how unfortunate that it wasn't Dom though.

    Oh well, this still made me smile :)

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  5. >I considered checking into the Hilton hotel, running a bath and writing a list of my favourite things – placing you on top
    >checking into the Hilton hotel....placing you on top
    >placing you on top
    >you on top

    AWWEEE YAHHH Dom, Get some!

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  6. It would be ironic if Stacy's next email said "Anyway as I said earlier, I'm going to Asia. Tomorrow. Bye." :P

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  7. AND JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. I love it.

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  8. Despite this having been all built up since the very beginning, the way Stacey delivered that last line was just mind-blowing.

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  9. RedYeti, (love the name) I know what you mean - when I read this I felt bad for publishing them. Oh well. GuLp.

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  10. Zombie, I love that your name is zombie and your heart fluttered. Such a wonderful contradiction - if literal.

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  11. Cindy, loving your comments. They are so true and vulnerable. Very moving. And I'm sure you have the guts. Certain of it.

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  12. Steph T, trust me Dom grows a pair soon. Whoah.

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  13. Anon (12:14) I noticed it too. I wonder if Stacey wsa deliberate here. Or are we just smut minded?

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  14. Anon (12:38) That's very very funny. Still laughing.

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  15. A Man de clark, not intentional on my part - but you're right. Valentines day - monday. Will You all (every last reader) be my valentine?

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  16. Sorry feel a little but whorey now. Sorry.

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  17. Zeeak - I know she can be a real poetess our Stacey. Always thought it.

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  18. I can understand he's hurt but demanding to read his ex-girlfriend's emails as if they're any of his business is a real dick move on Marcus' part.

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  19. What I like about this is that Stacey hasn't put herself out there and then jumped back into her shell...she's going for it, feet first, eyes squeezed shut (but she's still peeking), putting her heart on her sleeve where she can't take it back. Its now or never, I think.
    Her reference to Dom's email was sweet, admiring of Dom, and just what she needed to do.
    Oh, and yes, Marcus is a dick ;-) he doesnt get to demand these things when Stace has already broken up with him!
    We've got one more post before Monday, but Happy Valentines Day Olives readers! And Stephen, of course :-)

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  20. Well Stephen, I guess we will see if i have the guts soon enough, must be feeling inspired by the emails as I am contemplating it as a way to communicate in a particular situation :-)

    Now thats is just teasing (the Dom growing a pair comment)So I think that seeing it is Valentines day on Monday we should get an extra email to ease us hopless romantics through.

    Tekkactus I think its been well established that marcus is a a dick, this is just more evidence of that! Although I can understand the hurt of finding out that the person you were involved with has been having a relationship even if it is 'allegedly' based on friendship but is a hell of a lot more honest and deep than yours. Which when I think about it is extremely reflective of my current non relationship lol! although I think I am more the Dom of the situation, and I dont think the Marcus of the situation is a dick!

    Stephen dont feel whorey, share the love !
    Cindy

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  21. Indeed share the love... the first thing that went through my mind when I read this was JACKPOT!!!!! Everyone pretty much said what I was thinking after that. Thank God she didn't leave it open ended, she bit the bullet and just said he was her favorite thing and she valued their emails... wow. And I don't feel guilty for reading them... I'm sure Staci knows, and i bet for all of us who are reading this and thinking how our situations are similar and we wish we had the guts, etc... she's out there saying just do it it's worth it... Just a guess.

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  22. Tekkactus, you are so right - it is a duick move. I can';t beleive he even asked that - demaned even. But as Cindy says - Marcus is a proven dick.

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  23. Sorry guys - I type too quickly with the dexterity of an elephant sometimes. So sorry for mistakes.
    I do know how to spell believe
    and I meant demanded (demaned)
    and dick (duick)

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  24. Miss Holly, lovely comment. Thank you. I do hope Stacey doens't jump back in - but here's a hint - she wil force Dom to put himself out there too. Once and for all.
    There you go
    A little hint.

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  25. Cindy interesting, an extra email for Valentine's day. Let me think on that.

    And good louck with your situation. Feel free to keep us abreast. For I think we're all a little nosy here too.

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  26. Chris you are amazing, I think. I love your take and kindness. You are a true catch, I reckon.
    Any word from Ipshi? Is she okay?

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  27. Do you ever think about trying to hunt down Dom and Stacey?

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  28. Hi Brandy, I've tried but had no luck.

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  29. I think if we were all brave enough, our lives would be catastrophic. I have so much love, i feel like Stacey but with 14 Doms. Is that whorey?

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  30. Ipshi is a alive and well. I've chatted with her on facebook and she even gave me a ring on skype and said she was glad to be remembered. she's still reading this wonderful love story and the comments as well. I'm sure she's reading your comment with a huge smile and is grateful for your concern for her whereabouts. Thank you also for the kind words, I'd like to think they're true?

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  31. well waddaya know... ppl be talking of me AND there is FINALLY some resolution in this mail trail. The Gods must like me indeed!

    Chrissie boy -- i never thot ud ever b so chatty about me... making up for all the 10 yrs eh?

    papa bear - i have always been around... lurking... not letting things get too personal, not wanting to make this whole email trail about me... then feeling really stupid about it...

    I'm glad Stacey made her move or i wud've had to go look for Dom myself!

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  32. Now I sorta feel bad for reading all of these e-mails, haha. :P Considering that they were so private to her that she wouldn't even show Marcus. Though, from the way he sounds, he doesn't deserve the respect that Dom gets.

    (Unfortunately, I am beginning to see a lot of myself in Marcus.)

    Also, Stephen, if you could remove my Brighter Earth link from your Links section, I'd appreciate it. It's just that I've stopped publishing that blog, so it's pretty much dormant, and wouldn't be very interesting for most readers, if you ask me. :P

    ~Randall A.

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  33. WOW. I am DYING to see Dom's reply. I've been following these from #1 and this has to be the most significant e-mail we've seen yet. Good for Stacey!

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  34. haha I'm sure everyone here is glad to see your alive Ipshi. Making up for ten years, I figure after ten years you'd have heard enough chat from me lol.

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  35. I agree with RedYeti:
    "And as I was saying it…I realised how important these emails are to me...I would never share them with anyone else…they’re deeply personal…they’re the real me…" killed me.

    But what an e-mail. Puts me in such a good mood before going to sleep.

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  36. u have NEVER chatted ABOUT me. that be what I referring to u landlubber (im loving FB's piratespeak!)

    erm... back to the topic on hand then

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