85th email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Thursday June 21st, 1999 10:31AM
Subject: RE RE RE Matrix and Election

Stacey,

Sorry my last message did sound curt

(message to self; if you ever have a son - never call him curt…)

(message to self; stop writing message to self!)

It’s no excuse but I have been preoccupied.

It’s funny – in regard to time – I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. I think of it as night and day. That’s about it.

Anyway, sorry I have to dash. I’ll write more soon. I promise. What are you doing this weekend?


D

PS sounds like you have some form of OCD.

84th email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Wednesday, June 20th, 1999 22:52 PM
Subject: RE RE Matrix and Election

Hey you must be really busy…three days between emails and such a short one…Are you busy? Working…? In love…?...You know!!??

As for me…I’ve had too much time on my hands...getting less hours at the bar…thinking of quitting anyway…not sure how good it is for my world view…

Not sure what I’d do if I quit, though…

…of course I shouldn’t be pre planning or looking forward…as you well know my anxiety will creep in and dominate…but I have to admit that, lately I’ve been thinking more about what I want to do…time has become kinda odd…

I have such a fucked up relationship with time…I try ever so hard not to look at the clock or count seconds…for I know if I do, I might not stop…

Sometimes I even will time to go faster…

…indeed…here’s a confession…as much as I state I live in the moment…I often exist a few beats ahead of myself…

I’m generally thinking of my next action…

…for example…I’m making a cup of tea …but my head is actually contemplating sitting down after making the tea…I’m ahead of myself…

…this makes me clumsy…I drop things…I trip…..I cut or burn myself…see, I’m actually not in the moment…so I crash against it…

I suspect this has to do with chaos…and if I can control it a little then maybe I have purpose, intent and place…

I do this when crossing the road…do you do this…?

What I do is I watch the cars driving past…I see a gap in the traffic…I cross…

…but as I’m crossing I’m one step ahead again…I see myself on the other side of the road…but I’ve placed a rule on it…I’ve made a deal…the deal is to get across that side of the road and beyond that tree before that fast approaching sedan passes me…

(and here’s the kicker)

… if I don’t get to the tree in time…something awful will happen…I’ll lose my job…my house will be robbed…someone I know might even die…

Isn’t that mad? For a moment I truly believe I have the fate of another in my hands…of course rationally I know this is not the case…but as I stand on the kerb…I think I might be some sort of god…and I mean that with no sense of self importance :)

Anyway…I’ve taken too much of your time…I hope you’re having a damn fine happy sexy time…


S xx

PS I thought Election was a little smug…it felt like it was film scared of women…Matrix on the other hand…

83rd email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Wednesday June 20th, 1999 18:03PM
Subject: RE Matrix and Election

Election gets my thumbs up. Ah Tracy Flick.


D

PS I don’t really have a recipe. But basically it’s a bit of everything. Anchovies, Olives, tomato paste, onion, garlic, capers, basil and chilli – all whored up.

82nd email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Sunday, June 17th, 1999 23:11 PM
Subject: Matrix and Election

Hi Dom,

Okay…extra writing as promised…

Marcus has gone to bed…he’s not sleeping…reading…he always needs to read before going to bed…I mean…MAN! I only stay two nights a week and he reads…?

I think he’s reading Solzhenitsyn’s Gulag Archipelago…at the moment…such good bedtime reading…such sweet dreams…

…and he’s been reading it for a while…

the book’s been on the table for ages, I reckon…it’s covered in dust…

sometimes I check to see how many pages he reads…(he’s a dog earer)…and I swear over the last few days he’s been going backwards…

Anyway he’s on this Russian kick (hence me, I guess) he brags that he can read Russian…but his stressing is all wrong and I can’t understand a word he’s saying…

I wonder if he’s asleep yet…?
I’ll go look…

Okay, back…he’s asleep. Got myself a glass of wine and checked how many pages he’s read – three btw…

Back to you…and your new lady…

I must admit…I did see you and Elsa coming together….i think I saw it last week…she looked at you in a way that every girl knows…and when she went off with ‘keith’ (was that his name…?) I could tell she really wanted to go off with you…

It’s ‘cause you make her laugh…that’s why…

…a girl is a sucker for a guy that makes her laugh…and the fact you still had wit while tripping…wow, that’s impressive…

And she knew that…she knows that you can be really funny…and when she laughs at your jokes…she really laughs…her hair flips and her head tilts back…it’s pure joy…

Anyway, picked it…even told Marcus…he didn’t pick it of course…he thought you might be gay…he even had a moment of jealousy…’you never laugh at my jokes that way…’ he said…

So we had an argument…

Not sure why I’m telling you this…

…anyway you looked good together…you looked happy and again….the night was lovely…so a big thanks from Marcus and me…


Speak soon
Stacey

PS can I have the recipe for the pasta? If it’s a secret, that’s cool…it’s just I really liked it and thought I could cook it home…

PPS We saw two movies, if you’re interested - Matrix and Election. One was good, one was bad. You pick

81st email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Sunday June 17th, 1999 16:41PM
Subject: RE Thanks for dinner

Weird about me and Elsa, huh!?
I didn’t see that one coming.


Dxx

PS No more Hitler. Oftenbark now waves a sad farewell to lost lovers. It's so much better.
Thanks for the suggestion.

80th email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Sunday, June 17th, 1999 13:52 PM
Subject: Thanks for dinner

Hi Dom, thanks so much for last night…It was a lot of fun…your cooking was great…the company was great…and…

Wink-wink

…there was the smell of garlic and love in the air…
Bravo, sir…

I think you and Elsa make a great couple...

You looked really good together…I guess you’ve known each other for a while…so there’s an ease…you looked like you’d been a couple for years…

I kinda envied it…Marcus was so stiff…he finds it hard to play that celebrity head game…I guess he thinks it’s trivial…why would someone be Oprah when they can be Trotsky…

but you and Elsa were on fire…you got your celebrity so quickly each and every time…I’d hate to play you guys in Pictionary…

Hey I also saw you two holding hands under the table by the way…you don’t need to be shy in front of me…I thought it was kinda cute…

…anyway can’t write too much now…Marcus wants to go to the movies…

he says thanks too by the way…though he thinks you’re a bit of a ‘perv’ (his words) for liking that euro sleeze…(though I thought it was sweet that Elsa feel asleep in ‘Your vice is a locked door and only I have the key’…what a title…)


I’ll write more when he’s gone to bed…

S xx

PS I loved Oftenbark too…he is so cute…I can’t believe that he falls down dead when you say ‘bang’...

…also love the broken legs trick…very funny…maybe the Nazi salute is a little off…perhaps you could substitute the gesture as a romantic wave to someone as they sail away on a cruise…

And may I suggest Bon Voyage as a verbal signal to the trick and not Heil Hitler…

Unless of course you’re waving goodbye to Hitler…and if so I wonder what cruise liner he’d use…the SS something or other no doubt…

…and I wonder what dinner time he’d select…I wonder if he’s a late eater…and I wonder if at some point (through force of habit) he’d invade the Captain’s table and burn alll the company’s pamphlets…

…okay need to stop typing now…

…and big thumbs up from me again RE The Elsa Adventure…proud of you, sir…

79th email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Friday, June 15th, 1999 21:21 PM
Subject: RE RE RE coming down

Cool looking forward to dinner and looking at some of those pictures you drew with Elsa…

…I think I dated someone like Keith a couple of years ago…only difference – he spent longer in the bathroom than I did…he liked mirrors too and on this fateful Sunday in 1997…he declared that reading was for suckers… so I dumped him…

I then went straight to Book Nook and bought my first anthology of Lorca poems…

Lorca was a far better boyfriend that night
than he ever was…
See you Saturday.


Stacey


PS My favourite Lorca:

If I am dying,
leave the balcony open.
The child is eating an orange.
(From my balcony, I see him.)
The reaper is reaping the barley.
(From my balcony, I hear him.)
If I am dying,
leave the balcony open.

78th email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Thursday June 14th, 1999 11:21AM
Subject: RE RE Coming down

Yeah spoke to Elsa this morning.

She is going to be here on Saturday. She’s looking forward to catching up too – in a vino-way.

And yeah she did get together with the goatee, square glass, short-haired guy (though I think he’s actually going bald).

They came home together and emerged from her bedroom around 5:00 the next afternoon.
And you are so right. He didn’t shower.

Instead while she was in the bathroom, I had to make polite conversation with him in the kitchen.

I mean I’m always quite hospitable to the guys she brings home. I always offer a cup of tea. I always initiate polite conversation. And in one case, I can actually become their friend (that’s how I met Crisps – ending up talking for hours and playing Myst – Elsa got a little jealous – which I understand.)

But this guy – man… his name was Keith for a start. He was so caught up in himself. He’d lived in Sydney for a few years and felt so superior. He was constantly talking about the clubbing scene and how Sydney was so much better.

And his voice! He had this annoying accent that was sorta fey, nasal with English try-hard tones. I think he’d excuse his accent as trans-Atlantic. And I agree on this definition as it does sound like he’s drowning.

And how he sipped his tea;
A morse code of slurping (…---…)

And he had no interest in me either – not just me, but no interest in talking about anything but himself.

And as part of this ‘me-me-me’ conversation - he went into great detail about the night he shared with Elsa.

“Man, I’m a really giving lover…”

“Man, I think she liked it when I kissed her back. She said my lips were the best. And she liked my goatee as it touched her skin. It gave her goosebumps.”

“Man, I can control my orgasm. I’ve got this strong mental life. I think of rocks and streams and moss. I can go for hours.”

And this was only the printable stuff.
It was relentless.
I didn’t want to hear it.

I’ve known Elsa for a few years. We went to school together, made each other laugh and have found a content place of friendship. Sartorial, I guess. Sorry mean sorority –- sisterly -- I think sartorial means something to do with clothes making.

Anyway he went on and on. I was truly starting to think of ways I could kill myself to get out of the conversation when he said:

“You know it’s so hard having this face. People judge you because you’re so good looking. I wish I had a normal face. An ordinary face. I wish I had a face like yours…”

I lost it. I told him to get out. Get out of my house. He looked shocked. Not sure what to do. I said, ‘I’m serious – get out of my house before I hurt myself!’

Then the conversation went something like this:

HIM: Can I ring a taxi?
ME: No.
HIM: Can I finish my tea?
ME (Grabbing his tea and glugging it down myself): No.
HIM: Can I say goodbye to Elsa?
ME: When was the last time you were in a bathroom?
HIM: I can wait ‘til she gets out.
ME: You can wait outside.
HIM: But it’s cold.
ME: Use your strong mental life and think of summer.
HIM: But I only use my mental life when I’m having sex.
ME: Well then - go fuck yourself.

He didn’t know what to say to that. He blinked a couple of times, shuffled in his seat. I called to Elsa:

ME: Keith’s leaving, Elsa.
HIM: Tell her to ring me.
ME: Keith’s wants you to ring me.
HIM: Should I leave my number?
ME: No need. As you seem to be the only person in the world, you must be the only person in the phone book, right?
HIM: What’s that mean?
ME: It means Goodbye, Keith.

At this point I open the door and offered some sarcastic gesture.

I think I bowed.

Keith shuffled out. He was about to speak one final time. I said:

ME: Let’s not use words.

And I closed the door on him.

Once he was gone, Elsa came out of the bathroom. She was still dressed. I thought she’d be angry.

But she was relived.

She was hiding in bathroom, waiting for him to go.

She apologised but she had put up with Keith for hours. He kept sleeping, snoring and scratching. The sex was dull and his penis was quite thin (her words – not mine)

I asked, ‘how thin?’

And she started doing a drawing. I started drawing too and for the rest of the evening we pissed ourselves laughing over a sketch pad full of embarrassing male members.

Anyway – why did I start this? Oh yeah – Elsa will be there on Saturday night for dinner.

Looking forward to it.


Dom.

77th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Wednesday, June 16th, 1999 14:44 PM
Subject: RE Coming down

Hey…haven’t been online for a few days…so sorry for the lack of response…been a shitty week…working long nights…the fun drunks where so playful…one tried to accidently kill himself by running in front of traffic…

what a wonderful game that is…

I even tried to write a song about it; thought was okay until I realised I’d just rewritten Gordon Lightfoot’s “Simple Man”.

And as for last Saturday…? Yeah it was a good night…really cool night…I have to say I do like those nights…sorta sits with my personality of being in the moment…because I truly am when I’m on e…in the moment…you know…

And I thought Elsa seemed like a top chick too…I’m sure we mainly connected because of the night…but I did enjoy her company…

Did she end up getting together with that guy? He was really keen…though I have to say the goatee and short hair and square glasses feels so east coast try-hard…plus I don’t think looking ‘good’ is an excuse for not showering…

Looking forward to Saturday by the way…will Elsa be there? It’d be good to meet over a bottle of wine this time…


Stacey

PS So sorry for asking you ‘if you were there because of me’ so indulgent… feel like a real solipsist for asking (guess who just learnt a new word)… I can get so caught up in myself…slap me next time…or if that seems weird (man on chick violence) just ask some random chick to slap me instead…