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Sunday, December 19, 2010

99th email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Sunday July 1st, 1999 11:29 PM
Subject: RE Just for you

Stacey, that is so full on. I admit after Friday night, I went home and watched Rage too. I quite like Prince. But I couldn’t get into it. I was thinking of you and hoping everything was okay.

I mean, you’re so bloody strong and you’ll survive but if it ever gets too hard you can always come over for a nice cup of tea.

Wanna have a cup of tea?

I don’t know if this helps, but men are stupid.

Now, I should frame this with a gentle reminder that I am a self hating man.

But men are still stupid.

I mean to give you a present from an ex girlfriend?

What was he thinking!!?
Is he nuts?

It seems he wants to punish you for getting attention, I reckon.
Don’t let him peck at you, Stace’. (And allusion to Maya Angelou – don’t let them peck you to death with their small comments and actions etc)

And embrace this new day. Let him snore and have some toast.

And it’s raining today.

You love the rain, don’t you?
I love the rain.

I love the rain because it allows me to stay inside without having to exhaust all with excuses.

I love the rain because when it hits my windows it makes the glass look like its sweating.

I love the rain because it washes away my guilt about watching morning televsion and afternoon movies.

I love the rain because it brings a grey sheen of gauze over the world making people look like Lowrey stickmen.

I love the rain because I think my hair looks better when it’s wet.

I love the rain because you do too.

So with the snoring, toast and rain how can it this day not be better?
But in case none of the above rambling works; I ask again: Wanna have a cup of tea?

Okay - hey - how’s this to entice you further:

Elsa has bought these lovely Danishes (named Hans and Lars) from the Bakery. They have none of that Hamlet madness and simply just want to be eaten.

I should warn you though, they are a little sad and I don’t quite get their humour but to compensate, they have nice apple and custard fillings. That’s a plus.

Okay what I just written was stupid. But as you can tell I’m trying very hard to make you smile. Failing, I’m sure.

Anyway, I’ll give you a ring and see if you’re home.


PS Oftenbark read your email and wisely said; “What a dick.”

PPS I’d never say that of course.

PPPS I hope you don’t mind my dog reading your email. I know you said it was for my eyes only, but Oftenbark takes any opportunity to jump online and read my emails. He tells me he only does it to keep me honest. Personally I think he’s preparing a file to use against me when the Rapture comes.

PPPPS And I know I shouldn’t ask this question but who were you thinking about when you were with Marcus last night. I know it’s personal – but Oftenbark made me ask.


  1. Ah, and finally we will get somewhere... ;)

  2. using oftenbark as his alter ego. nothing new, but clever ploy!

    i dont like the idea that a guy has to bad mouth his friend to get in the pants of a girl. no.matter.what! he loses points with me on that one. what a dick. That wasnt me that said it, my alter ego thinks Dom is a dick for bad mouthing his friend.

  3. I'm gonna disagree with Nabs a bit here. I don't think Dom and Marcus were ever really friends so much as they were acquaintances. I believe he is speaking his true feelings on Marcus' actions. Don't get me wrong Nabs, I think his ultimate goal is to get Staci, but if he were such good friends with Marcus, wouldn't he have suggested double dating to Marcus, or Marcus to him? Just random observations. I think he enters the idea of being a shoulder to cry on with good intentions and fears of weakness at the same time. I also think he fears she may be thinking about someone else while sleeping with Marcus, but suspects it's him. Just wondering if she'll be truthful, or play it off funny with some pop icon like Bono, or or Keanu Reeves. (she did have a fondness for Matrix). Anyway... time will tell I suppose.

  4. Oh Dom, I would leave Marcus for you in a heartbeat.

    I don't know if I enjoy the whole "I love the rain because you do too" part of his ranting, it seems like he is going back to how their conversations were before Marcus stepped in. Like when Stacey told him that she wanted to be a musician of some sort. He went on a very similar rant back then about listening to her music.

    Hans and Lars sound like sad fellows but the filling makes up for it.

    I absolutely adore Oftenbark's part in this. I love that he is the alter ego and I also love that he is keeping a file for when the rapture comes. This is brilliantly witty :)

    Also, nabs, I have to agree with Chris here. I don't think they were ever good friends or he probably would have known about Dom's feelings for Stacey and he never would have hooked up with her. I don't think this is a "get in her pants" moment, I truly believe that he is just trying to lend a shoulder. Well maybe he is trying to make himself seem like a viable alternative but that's not to say it's his main goal in the email.

  5. that's what im suspecting too Steph T and Chris. But the picture that was depicted in earlier emails is that they were friends. The emails dont suggest that Dom and marcus have been communicating at all, or at least Dom hasnt mentioned them.

    I dont think Dom is lending a shoulder to cry on though. He seems to be the kind of guy that is every chicks friend, and doesnt have the balls to ask any of them out.Hes trying to get in her pants through this avenue. the general rule is no guy is ever a girls friend for no reason!

    His alter ego comments suggest that Dom isnt the confrontational type and would rather get at things from indirect angles rather than being up front. Marcus on the other hand seems upfront, firm and an alpha male, and ultimately women gravitate to him because of this. His fiesty fight with Stacey after the birthday party, him leaving the party, him screwing Stacey on the night of her date with Dom suggest this. He knows what he wants and he gets it. he calls the shots, and Stacey's subservient to his whims.

    Dom needs to grow some gonads.

    i too wonder how she's going to answer the question about who she was thinking about. The biggest insult would be if she decided not to answer it at all. But the way things have been spinning here, my money is that she's going to give a roundabout answer and keep Dom guessing.

  6. "Okay what I just written was stupid. But as you can tell I’m trying very hard to make you smile. Failing, I’m sure."

    Dom knows he is making Stacey smile. He wants her to know he can make her smile when Marcus can't... that he can be all the things Marcus isn't.

    And this...
    "I love the rain because you do too."

    My favorite line from Dom ever. He's telling Stacey straight up - I love things that you love. Just because.

    If Stacey's response mentions sex with Marcus again, I'm going to be pissed (and I hope Dom will be too).

  7. Wasn't Dom with Stacey before Marcus? Then he picked up on her. While not 'together', she was his date (whom he walked out on...).

    And yay for Oftenbark.

  8. I also have on question. For Stephen. Who's computer were the emails found in? Stacey's or Dom's?

    Dom made first contact, but was it Stacey that kept them all?

  9. Juan, Every Dom/Stacey fan knows that they were on Stacey's computer. She mentioned it on an email that she never deletes them because she likes looking back and reading them. JEEZ :P

  10. Zzzz stacey lacks class.... and Dom I don't know he seems like he has no balls, uses the dog as an excuse? just ask straight up. I lol at the cup of tea bit didnt marcus make her a cup of tea after they "fucked"?

  11. Anon (12:00) Yes as we near the destination, the journey does seem worth it. Hopefully.

  12. Serene, yes when he's on, he's really on.

  13. Wow Nabs, Chris and Steph T, great discussion. I adored reading your various points of view.
    For what it's worth, I think that Dom is genuinly offering a shoulder to cry on.

    I think he's is trying to cheer her up and pulling all stops ou to do so. I think he really cares and feels for her.

    Are Marcus and Dom friends? Well I think they had a connection and maybe danced around mateship but Marcus seems so into himself it's hard to imagine Dom woulc find a place of really connecting. Besides I believe Dom's self assessment that he's a self hating man.

    I am a little and find that men can kide behind mateship as an excuse fo bad behaviour and pack male terrorism.

    So though I think Dom still has deep feelings for Stacey I think his reaction is true and deserved. I think he already has big enough gonads because it's the brace man that goes agianst the tide of every other man.

    Anyway, hope this discussion continues.

  14. Jason, I like the rain speil too. I think it's interesting that Steph T picked up the return to poetics (the music rave) but Dom does do this well and maybe htere's somethinhg under it all - a hopeful return to how it was.

    Or maybe he's just being kind. Sometimes it's as simple as that, I guess.

  15. Juan, yay for you too. And as Anon correctly mentioned it is Stacey's hard drive.

  16. Anon (8:10) thanks for the answer. Love the JEEZ :)

  17. Anon (11:51) Man you're right he did make a her a cup of tea. Very funny. But not intended, I suspect.

  18. Nabs, I'm sorry but I don't think I agree that no guy is friends with a girl for no reason. My brothers have told me this numerous times and I just refuse to believe that as the one and only reason. If this were true I would have at least 15 close guy friends who are constantly trying to get with me, actually probably more.
    In this case I think that clearly Dom likes (probably thinks he loves) Stacey and obviously he wants to get with her. But that doesn't seem to be his main motive in this, sure he's trying to look like a better prospect. At this point though, it's about much more than sex. Dom seems to have always wanted more and right now he's trying to look like the better boyfriend where Marcus is clearly the better sex partner.

  19. how is marcus clearly the better sex partner? Especially since Dom and Stacey havent "fucked" (to use Staceys french). If you havent tasted Tim Tams, how do you know they are better than Mars Bars?

    Steph T, you better watch out, those 15 guys you're talking about are probably scheming for you right now. while not EVERY relationship is about sex i can agree that platonic relationships between males and females do exist. However, if you read my post, i said it is GENERALLY the case. Men befriend females because they are attracted in some sense be it looks, wittiness, social class..etc.

    in any case, its quite evident that Doms trying to be the white knight. his intentions are clear. to befriend her. But he wouldnt be befriending her just because he's being a friend. hes befriending her because he wants to be the one she chooses, and he's doing his darnest to win her over with sloppy 'i love what you love' serenades.

  20. id also like to add that Stacey always refers to sex with Marcus as 'fucked'.

    id have thought that if they were having a serious long term relationship that she'd have used something a little more respectable. the word fucked is devoid of emotion and feeling.

    Perhaps this is what she's trying to get Dom to see. Perhaps Marcus is devoid of emotional attachment that Stacey also feels that detachment.

    i find her use of words to describe her relationship interesting in that they are always broken and downbeat.

  21. Only a matter of time now (even though this happened 10 years+ ago). Even though the couple probably don't like their dirty (soon to be filthy [come on, who doesn't want them to shag?!]) laundry being plastered on the web, we don't really know who they are, but we all love em, they must want to see this and reminisce!

    Anon (5.08)

  22. Oh yeah and Oftenbark is easily the best dog name I've heard and will be my dog's name.

  23. Steph T and Nabs, I am really enjoying this back and forth. It's thrilling to read and I hope others are enjoying it too. Thank you both for being so open about it.

    I am reminded of the When Harry Met Sally thesis that men and woman can't just be friends. I'm not sure I fully agree with that. I do however think at some point there is a pondering of the possibility - would I kiss them etc.

    In D and S case - it is romantically charged but I also think they're trying to get to that deeper place. Stacey is scared and DOm can be pushy. But I think they are also kinda working each other out. After all they began with personas from day one and slowly those personas are being chipped away.

  24. Anon (5:08) Yes it does seem like it's getting close. And likewise Oftenbark is a great dogs name. As is Depussy for a cat.

  25. This email was kind and sweet.

    Loved this: I love the rain because you do too.

    And Oftenbark returns. Best dog name ever. Haha

    PPPPS... made me think “Wow, he went there.”

    Basically asked a question I would have asked.
    I’m curious how Stacey will answer.

  26. One of the scary things about being a "good guy" is that you assume every girl thinks that just because you approach or talk to her you want to sleep with her. Not always the case. I for one genuinely love intelligent conversation. I love to hear others opinions, experiences, and facts. I am a curious person. Unfortunately (and this is by no means a shot at Nabs because as you said you stated Generally) that is what most girls think because as a whole that's what men in society are after.

  27. RE Oftenbark: "He tells me he only does it to keep me honest. Personally I think he’s preparing a file to use against me when the Rapture comes." - i nearly died laughing when i read this.. to keep him honest ahaha.. You know what Dom is a bit of a dick. But in an okay way. He IS however a bad dick for bad mouthing a fellow dick. That was bad Dom. You did a bad thing, Dom.

    Let's hope Stace overlooks this sudden change of swing in Dom's chatter. To me, thinking over it again, i feel like he has let a little too much out of the bag. The bad mouthing, the "enticing" (the tea, when really he's just offering his dick) is a little low and contrasting to the previous cool he had rolling.

    Still funny to be reading all of this again! Though something tells me Dom has gotten a little too excited by the opportunity that has unveiled itself before him, and perhaps jumped the gun. We'll see.

    I just then finished reading the other comments and i have to say its interesting to read who thinks this email is sweet and nice, and who are suspicious of it. I for one fall into the latter category.. it just feels like he's forcing it, personally. It's probably why I think he's slipping, in terms of his game, and his chances with her.

    Its one thing to be nice, another to be a suck up. One thing to be caring, another to fuel someone's reasons, particularly where a conflict of interest may arise - ie. Dom disapproving of Marcus.

    Sure Stace sounds like she needs a shoulder to cry on, but despite Dom's reply email, i dont think she is looking for or asked for Dom's oppinion on Marcus.. so why give it? Just seems a little out of place.. and i say this for Dom's sake.

    Oh and with reference to the word "fucked" the more i hear Stacey say it, the more violent it sounds to me! Funny. But still. Whatever happened to making love?

    hah! Post-modern love had it coming i guess. _ it got fucked! lol excuse all puns. None were intended.

    LOL - that's me sounding like Dom again. All innocent and everything - It was my keyboard's idea. The letters were all there and the sentence just came out. If i had the chance this would also be under like 6 other post-scripts too. Here at least one:

    PS. Don't mind me. Its 1am and i've just caught up on the blog and all the comments since email 90 - insanity has well sunk in.

    PPS. okay - second one, Everyone. I passed my Masters course. Woooh!

    PPPS. Hey Stephen! long time no chat- hope the habit is well out the window mate ;) Best not to talk about it even, but Good job!

    PPPPS. Yeah. Fuck yeah - i now sound like Dom. Again. Woooooh!!

  28. Stephanie, I fall into the group of people that think it's sweet too.

  29. Chris, this is such a lovely response. I hope that those that read it, are touched. You seem like a lovely man.

  30. Hiranga, welcome back. You've gunfire reponses have been missed. And A BIG CONGRATS on MASTERS. Bravo, Mr H. What's next? PHD? Working for a firm? Strangling engineers? (Sorry to any Angineers out there)

    And yes, I'm still of the cigs. 5 and half weeks now.


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