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Sunday, November 7, 2010

87 email

From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < >
Sent: Thursday, June 21st, 1999 23:58 PM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE Matrix and Election


Marcus is in bed…reading…I’m staying over…alone…and it’s only midnight….

He just turned the light is off…his book is on the bedside table…I’m having wine and time is slow…

I really liked your rave on time btw…really funny…though I think you forgot one attack on time…

Time is a scaremonger…it wakes you with a frightening loud smash to the head every morning…yelling ‘help help me!’...

you try to help, but it teases you with a snooze button…a calming option from the fear…

but time isn’t done with you yet…it alarms you ten minutes later…loving that this pattern of worry can be repeated time and time again…

(based on this – time sounds like a sadistic shrew, don’t you think?)

Anyway – that’s my attempt at blaming time…

Keep it if you like it and add it to your routine …I’m sure all the other girls you email will find it very amusing…

Sorry that sounds catty…didn’t mean it to be catty…I quit work tonight…so feeling a little vulnerable…

And I have to ask…in your spiel about time you talked about Bad timing…

‘He likes her. She likes someone else. He then likes someone else and she ends up liking him.’

What did you mean by that…?


PS I can’t believe I asked that question.


  1. "all the other girls you email" = flattery, taking the pot of the heat, self-deprecation. certainly not catty.

    Elias K.

  2. Well it doesn't seem like she freaked out. But the end seems to be a little hint that she is freaking out and she doesn't want to show too much of it. And then she makes it a bit worse by adding the "PS I can't believe I asked that question." I also enjoy her addition to the time analogy. I hope Dom has a better answer to this than she just gave. Hints of her insecurity about the situation are all over this email. He needs to come up with a coy response.

  3. Dom could easily cross a line into being cruel with his response to this. I hope he sees discretion as the better part of valour.

    Marcus sounds a bit like he's all talk and no action. Maybe he lost interest right after the initial conquest and they are now both bound to eachother via that first night.

  4. Blah blah blah, what a narcissist. You can just imagine her sitting there with her glass of wine, what are all the ellipses for anyway, thoughtful moments of reflection? Sighs? Snickers? Batting of eyelashes?

  5. It's funny how it's so hard to find a balance... when one person Dom) is ingratiating and perhaps a little needy, the other (Stacey) is aloof and cool, but as soon as the former (Dom) becomes less needy and more aloof, the latter (Stacy) inexorably shifts into the needy role.
    Stacey being vulnerable makes her much more endearing...

  6. she's staying over at Marcus's on a thursday? The bloke wants to sleep, so he reads in order to fall asleep.

    And what's with the "it's only midnight" comment? Marcus probably has a regular job, and doesnt want to get fired, so he goes to bed at regular times so he can pay the bills instead of sipping wine till the early hours of a weeknight.

    is Stacey coming off as a nagging girlfriend to anyone? because she certainly is to me. If i was Dom, i'd think twice about getting back with a nagging girlfriend that puts her boyfriend down behind his back. It could cost Dom his relationship with his my best friend. It may also cost Dom his sanity. [watch this space]

    What she's basically doing is confiding in Dom about her insecurities, trying to win him over. Her enticement is showing the cracks in the wall in her own relationship, meanwhile hoping that this would be enough for Dom to shift the ball back into her court. I cant say im surprised with her plan, but i dont think its honourable.

    Anyone noticed how she fired off a cannon, and then apologised and told him how she quit work. What a wonderful ploy to get a shot out, and then expect nothing back in return.

    and for her information, the snooze button is actually SEVEN minutes, not ten. She's so full of it.

    /post rant - i can see their relationship going off the rails for a little while before they kiss and make up

  7. Elias K, welcome to the bored olives comments. Great to hear from you. And I really like your short analysis - self depricating. Excellent. Look forward to more bullet points.

  8. Nagging. Insecure. Annoying.

    Her comment about time was much inferior to Dom's intellectual tirade about it.

    She disparagingly talks about her boyfriend behind his back, and instead of sleeping with him, is sipping on wine solo - does anyone else find this weird? Added to the fact that it's "only midnight"? I think that's about bedtime to be honest, not time to be drinking the vino.

  9. Steph T, as always I think you've nailed it. Hints of her insecurities are all over this email. She is hurting and feeling lost. Though I hope she realises that Dom was there for her in the last email. Bring on the coy, we say.

  10. Chris Dixon, like Steph T's hope - Dom does need to be careful with his next response. The girl is hurting and Dom needs to be a true freind and not wear any jealousy on his sleeve.

  11. Anon (2:09) I'm not sure I agree that Stacey is a narcissist. I really hope not. I've known a few in my time and they're really exhausting. I don't think she thinks she's bigger than she is - has inbflated sense of self like the narcissists I've met. Indeed I think she's more insecure.

    But keen to hear your thoughts on why you think she is one.

  12. Fyfee, I think this is a a really interesting comment. There seems to be some that aren't in agreement and still find Stacey annoying. Like you I find sympathy for here here. But perhaps I always have.

    I agree vulnerability does make me weaken.

  13. Sorry Fyfee - bit of ashit reponse from me. A little tired and working out a new keyboard.

    In essence I wanted to say I agree.

  14. nabs, your reponse is made me laugh. I love the pick up of seven minute snooze button. Excellent.

    Though I am a little on Stacey's side. Marcus goes to bed - reads - leaves her alone. Stacey ahs always been a night owl and she wants time with him. He seems to be acting like a married man - when he's only 19. Don't grow up too fast Marcus.

  15. Anon (9:21) poor stacey she's getting a little bit of a bashing here. Not just from you. Maybe you're right - maybe she should be in bed with Marcus. But if he's reading and her body clock is tuned to the wee hours - all she would be doing is lying there alseep.

    Maybe she shouldn't be drinking alone.
    Maybe Dom should be drinking with her.

  16. Ugh.. I hate to admit it, but I see a lot of my young self in Stacy here.
    Her "I’m sure all the other girls you email will find it very amusing" line irks me.
    She knows Dom doesn't email other women (I think) so this can only be an attempt at making herself feel better.
    Dom is being enticed to reply with admission that he devotes these deep thought out personal emails only to Stacy.
    This will not only make S feel better, but her hopes are that D will realize he loves her, not Elsa.

    Stacy is obviously hurt and as thought out as this email may seem at first, I really believe she slapped it together in a fit of blind irritation.

    (Sorry if my response seems a bit all over the place. The time change here has messed up my daughter's schedule and caused her to wake at 5:30am)

  17. Did anyone mention that that the "he likes her, she likes someone else..." comment might be about Elsa? After rereading it, that's what I thought.

    My snooze is 9 minutes. I set my clock forward by 15 minutes so that when my alarm goes off at 6:15, I know it's only 6:00. I used to think it was to fool myself into thinking it's later than it is, thus giving me more time in the morning, but it's never worked because I'm the one who sets it. I just hit my snooze twice, sometimes more. I've done it for years. My attempt at controlling time, I suppose. Anyone else do that?

    "all the other girls you email" - I felt a lot of insecurity there from Stacey. I feel for her in general; she seems very conflicted.

  18. Stephen! Commenters coming out of the woodwork.

  19. I like Stacey. I see so much of me in her. I, too, have had long email exchanges with people I desire/want/am drawn to and although I would dread those to come to light on a public blog, I find these so compellingly sincere and addictive...
    I even use... like Stacey. Although hopefully not *quite* so much.......

  20. I think Stacey's email was much more accepting of Dom's than i anticipated. Although I'm not sure if she's feeling him out to find out where his heart lies and if perhaps he's talking about Elsa as Kimberly suggested, or her. But her PS kind of leads Dom to believe that she is thinking he's meaning her. The other girls line is clearly a line to see what kind of hold she has on Dom, a ploy to attract a comment that builds her self esteem. I've been around tons of women who do it.

  21. PennyPup, thanks for saying that. I feel like Stacey sometime too and I was hoping some would relate to her. I just dind't want to feel alone :)

  22. Kimberley, I lvoe you've got your snooze acouple minutes after the last commenter. Well done. Those extra two minutea re precious.

    And yes commenters are coming out of the woodwork. So nice to read.

  23. Cordelia, like PennyPup, I am deligfhted to hear empathy toward our Stacey. IAnd well picked in the three periods that stacey uses often. It is an habitual action in punctuation. It's like she's scared of the full stoip. I'm sure that means something. But what???

  24. Chris,it does feel like a ploy. But I wonder if it;s also a genuine moment of doubt.

    (And I truly love folk who doubt)

    Haven't checked out your blog yet. But will.
    Just got new laptop (old one died) and getting used to new keyboard and all the annoying work that's associated with swapping from one system to another.

  25. I say good on Stacey for finally grabbing the bull by the horns and putting that question to Dom.

    I actually quite like her postscript. It smacks of familiarity and closeness. In his reply I'm hoping Dom instigates a meeting.

    Interesting use of the ellipsis (i.e. the three dots) throughout, then the single full stop to end the postscript...

  26. stephen, make sure you dont take your laptop to a computer guy thats going to swipe your emails ;)

    why do i find myself checking bored olives everyday...

  27. Jamie, I didn't notice the full stop at the end. Well picked. I wonder if it was deliberate?

  28. Nabs, I check it out too everday and then some. And very funny about wiping hard drive. Lesson learnt - will do so.


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