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Sunday, August 29, 2010

56th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Tuesday, May 25th, 1999 18:29 PM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE RE so sorry

Okay, I started this e-mail a number of times…re-read it, deleted etc…

…in one version I forgive you…and all is right…no fight…easy…

…in another I am protective and heavily use ‘I’ statements…god, I hate ‘I’ statements…I really do… I really, really do…

…finally I started writing a list of things you could do to gain my forgiveness as you suggested…

I didn’t delete that one…so here goes…please chose one…not all…just one…

(and fearing the lack of intended wryness – please put on your wry goggles now)


1: Put two pencils up your nose and smash them hard onto a desk.

2: Drink a lot of cough medicine, inhale madly on Benzedrine, swallow some medislim
tablets and then read James Elroy’s White Jazz in one sitting and truly get it.

3: Join a Doctor Who fan club with no irony.

4: Invent something that will change the world…

5: Try to convince at least three people that Pig Latin is actually an elitist form of communication between pigs…

6: Try and speak Pig Latin to a pig for at least an hour (need written proof from the pig for this one)

7: Kill Jenny Wrangler (a girl I went to primary school with who made my lunchtimes a misery by not letting me be part of her ‘charlie’s angels’ club)

8: Watch all the Merchant Ivory films in a row.

9: Become homeless for a day and then brag patronisingly to at least ten people that you truly understand the plight of the disenfranchised.

10: Step away from the computer and don’t use e-mail for a least a week.

16 comments:

  1. Not so sure how I feel about this single email. Is she looking to gain space to think, blowing the issue off for the better, or is this even genuine?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anon (10:40) I think she's trying to be light and playful. I think the clue is when she says:

    "and fearing the lack of intended wryness – please put on your wry goggles now"

    I think she's trying to get it back to a place of fun and shared play. As WW said (I think it was WW) shared language creates a tribe. Here I think Stacey is trying to have shared tone for the same effect.

    Anyway, that's my reading.

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  3. Shared language creates an elite, shared language creates a club, shared language creates a clique, shared language creates a COUPLE!

    Go on, Dom. Stay away from email for a week and create a whole new conversation. Time to move on, buddy boy. That's the chance she's giving you both.

    RRL

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  4. I wonder why she didn't send the email asking to be forgiven for her wrong-doings? Oh, that's right, this is Stacey.

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  5. I agree with @Chris Dixon completely, but I also think Stacey was well-intentioned. This point goes to Stacey! (Plus Dom should really apply her suggestion Number 10 on a regular basis anyway)

    I'm back to Team Neutral! Yay!

    p.s. Stephen thanks for the kind words about my photoblog. Appreciated!

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  6. RRL, shared language creates a couple - love it.
    And yes you are right - stay away Dom - and let a new string begin.

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  7. Chris, you make me smile. Love your sarcasm. I can just hear the way you say;
    oh that's right - this is stacey

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  8. Missy M, team nuetral - excellent - I hope soon you might even be team S and D.
    Loving your point system still.
    Hope you're better.
    And very happy to advocate blog.
    Wanna trades links?

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  9. Here's hoping there's even going to be a Team S and D.

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  10. No harm and only good would come from doing points 2, 5, 8 & 10.

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  11. Randall, trust me there will always be a team S and D...

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  12. John O' - very funny.
    But what's wrong with point 6?

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  13. ok i have done 8 and 10... papa bear i know has done 4 and i think we're all the better for it

    and as much as it counts... iv always been in team S&D. they will always be a couple for me -not all famous duos have to be romantically involved after all (stanley & livingstone for ex)

    But isnt it convenient how not-nearly-nunnery-material Stacey is expecting dear-dense-duckhead Dom to grovel while she's sitting as pretty as you please... he should, nay, must respond with a list of his own that may contain any of the following...

    1 Watch all star wars films back to back after guzzling down a big bottle of coke (no loo breaks allowed)

    2 read chronicles of narnia and wrte a 500 thesis on how Aslan is a better Christ than Christ ever thought he was (no ofence to those of a religious bent)

    3 convince 5 different people that your belief in morality is absolute and uncorruptable and that morality can never be subjective (written proof from 5 ppl needed with attestation that they were not paid for in sex for this proof)

    LOL.. im in a very weird mood today so if this post offends anybody... stephen please delete it

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  14. *write a 500 word thesis* sorry!

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  15. never delete, darlin' ipshi - very, very funny...
    and provocative. Indeed comment so far, I reckon.

    Don't you all think?

    Love your point 2 btw.

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  16. If a random experiment could be possible, I would hope for Dom not to e-mail Stacy until she writes another e-mail wondering where he has been or why he haven't written her in some time. Hopefully, it would determine how much she still really wants him in her life. Just a thought. I know it is impossible since this already happened. But would have been cool to test out. Despite Stacey having slept with Marcus, it would be a true test if physical attraction out weighs the desire for mental stimulation or vice versa. Perhaps Stacy may/is realising that mind wins over matter...

    ReplyDelete

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