From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Thursday, May 20th, 1999 17:01 PM
Subject: So sorry
I just wanted to say I was so sorry for my behaviour at lunch.
I really want to blame the palatable sense of hippy anger on my passive aggressiveness.
But that’s a cop out. And I should take responsibility for myself, hey!?
Kinda like that Jules Pfeiffer cartoon. Have you seen it? Have you read him?
Anyway Pfeiffer has this cartoon – say five panels.
I’ll paraphrase – but you’ll get the point.
1: A Guy cleaning the dishes in a restaurant and the caption says – I’m just doing my job.
2: A Guy cleaning an office and the caption says – I’m just doing my job.
3: A Guy teaching Children in a classroom and the caption says – I’m just doing my Job.
4: A Policeman arresting a Protester and the caption says – I’m just doing my job.
5: A head of State after pressing the button that launches the bomb and the caption says – I’m just doing my job.
So this is me saying – hey I’m not doing my job.
Indeed my job sucks.
My actions suck and I’m going to do something about it.
I’m going to say – sorry Stacey – I was a fool.
It was me. I did it. I am to blame.
I mean, you have the right to do what with whomever.
And Marcus is a good guy.
He’s passionate and strong.
I feel so stupid for dissing him.
For truly - if the world ended I’d want him on my team because he’s not scared of killing a chicken and he can run really fast.
And he smells good. I really get that. He smells so good!
Shit, now I’m starting to sound mean again. Don’t mean to.
I was just a little jealous, that’s all. And I can’t help think that if I’d stayed at the Norman with you that little bit longer – hadn’t got so fucking drunk and gone home that maybe we could have seen sunrise together instead.
Now I sound like I’m guilt-tripping you. Fuck, sorry again.
My feelings are all over the place.
I know one feeling - I shouldn’t have called you cruel at lunch.
I really shouldn’t have.
You’re not cruel.
And I hope you and Marcus will be happy together. I really do.