To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Monday August 17th, 1999 20:31 PM
Subject: My new home
Okay here I am back in my parent’s house. It feels weird to be back. I’ve been out of home a couple of years and I’m fighting this feeling of failure as I sit at my old desk, looking at old views and smelling the residue of old dinners.
My mum was sweet about the whole thing however. She bought some comfort food – Custard Cream biscuits and bacon for some sandwiches tomorrow morning. There were clean sheets on my old bed and a Goblin Teasmaid set up so I can wake with a hot cuppa. Now there’s luxury.
My dad was sweet too. He suggested we watch some old films like we used to do when I was younger. So ‘Von Ryan’s Express’ is teed up in the machine and ready to go when I finish this email. If we’re really lucky we might even get a chance to watch‘Where Eagles Dare’ too.
To their credit, my parents have been discreet. They haven’t talked about Elsa or Crisps at all. I appreciate that.
They did ask about Oftenbark and I told them he was staying with a friend.
They hoped that maybe he could stay with them. They love Oftenbark, see.
And I imagine it’d be easier for you too.
So would it be okay if we picked him up tomorrow?
I understand he gets under your skin but you’ve done so much already and I’d hate your Real Estate to find out about him and jeopordise your home.
Now you might have noticed I called you ‘friend’ a few paragraphs up. As in ‘he was staying with a friend’—
Let me explain—
I contemplated telling them about us. But I don’t think they’d understand and though I feel a little cheap about accepting their sympathy it is nice to have the odd parental ‘there-there’.
And to be honest I know they’d judge us. They are quite old parents – now sixty. They had me late in their lives. I am their only kid. And they’re quite conservative – you know - standard bearers of the synthetic fabrics, pinapple, ham and benzadrine suburban set.
But I also know they are kind and protective and if we reveal ourselves at the right time they will embrace you. I promise.
So please don’t take it personally that I’m keeping our connection clandestine still.
You’ll get rewards in the end. Mum will introduce you to the convenience of tuppaware: So handy for little blue pills. And Dad will seduce you into some kind of rotary club while never taking off his hat. Except indoors.
So with this in mind, will it be okay if we pretend to ‘just be friends’ when we pick Oftenbark up?
I know I will find it difficult because the first thing I will want to do is kiss you. It’s been a week since I last saw you and all I want is to touch your cheek or the soft lightly freckled section between your shoulder blades. I so miss that part of you.
Anyway call me or email me back if it’s cool to pop ‘round tomorrow.
And when this is all sorted out here, I’ll fudge an allnighter excuse and defect to your apartment with a stolen toothbrush.
PS Forgot to answer your question you asked on the phone. Yes I did end up seeing Elsa yesterday. It was awkward. She was apologetic about everything. Even us. Though she did say she still hit me if the moment happened again.
What she said she would change was how she revealed her affair with Crisps and understands that our shared friends will more than likely side with me.
I did ask her how long it’d been going on with him. She told me it had been on and off for over a year. But since your birthday they’d been seeing more of each other.
That stung, strangely. She asked about us and for some odd reason I said the same; since your birthday party.
Not sure why.
I guess I’ll never see them again. I guess that’s what getting older is all about; a training ground for losing people. They all fall away in the end, I suspect.