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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

70th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Wednesday June 9th, 1999 8:05AM
Subject: RE RE RE New string of conversation

I think I will die drowning while filming a water safety commercial…

Accidentally stabbing myself with a chained pen in a bank as I cash a birthday cheque…

Dying of old age at my computer while waiting for some massive cartoon attachment that’s not even funny…

Being beaten to death by an idiot while wearing I’m with this idiot T-shirt…

Misjudging the time and being hit by a bus that I thought I was running late for.

Tripping and smashing my head on the footlights as I run onto the stage of some profit share production of Waiting for Godot yelling at the tramps – stop this show it’s killing me!

Forgetting how to breathe for that minute too long.

Electrocuting myself as I try to make a boat out of toast in the bath.

Mistaking the sign that reads ‘koalas cross here at night’ as a caution to motorists not as warning about rage.

In Italy. I don’t care of what. Just wouldn’t mind dying in Italy.


PS And speaking of things ‘Italy’ (gotta love that segue) I adore those Italian Thrillers too.

Crisps (the guy whose party we met at) is a real trash fan – I think it comes from being British and a childish curiosity about the Video Nasty boom. I think he listed and sourced them all.

He shared it with me and I got obsessed too.

And at the fear of sounding educational again (I so want to be Mr Chips. Indeed so did Crisps. That would make him Crisps Chips – message to self; do something about you’re a.d.d for Christ sake, Dom – and do something about talking to yourself in print too – Jesus!)

Anyway those Italian thrillers are called Giallo films (Giallo meaning Yellow – like the faint stained yellow pages in airport pulp books).

I’m kinda obsessed with them. We should watch a couple together. Let me think of two cool ones and I’ll get you and Marcus over for Spag’ bog’ and Euro sleaze.


  1. OMFG! I'll get you and Marcus over?!?

    She is still with Marcus! What is Dom doing?

    He's worse than a Woody Allen character.

  2. I would not mind any of those options as all of them are either very cliched or hilarious or both. I honestly love that he might "[forget] how to breathe for that minute too long."
    That would be a very epic way to die, epic yet still small and insignificant. Like everything in an individual's life if you think about it...
    We all think things that happen to us are so significant, but really who but us are they significant to besides ourselves?
    Sorry I am also quite A.D.D. I can sympathize with Dom again, Uh-Oh.
    Anyways I think my favourite part of this email is the very last sentence. He's seeing if she's still interested in/seeing Marcus, or if she's into Dom again. Sneaky bugger...

  3. And that tactic works really well too Steph T. I can vouch for it.

  4. You read my mind Steph T ! Rather sharp hey haha. Well jolly good. I mean obviously, he would want to know.. and she's obviously going to let him know what's going on with Marcus and herself, so good. :)

    Subtlety factor - 10. ! Well played sir.

  5. Chris, very funny - Dom is exactly like a Woody Allen character.

  6. Steph T, great comment - I think you said it all. Love you epic comment and

    "We all think things that happen to us are so significant, but really who but us are they significant to besides ourselves?"

    A true humbling mantra to hum and recite over and over again methinks.

    Hey I have a touch of A.D.D too. This mixed with O.C.D creates a desperate need to get all the letters in my self daignosed syndromes.

    And yes he is a sneaky one, our Dom.

  7. Anon (12:41) I'd love to hear how your tactic worked out.

  8. Hiranga, - where have you been? Missed you.

    Yes - Steph is right and Dom is being delightfully subtle. I wonder how he'll react if she is still with Marcus (which for some reasin, i think she is)

  9. My assumption from the email was that she was with Marcus, and Dom is trying to be accepting of the relationship and inclusive of the as a couple. Surely they converse outside of this particular conversation, surely Dom would know the situation without having to sneakily ask. Marcus is also his friend, don't forget.

    And, Stephen, I always aspired to be like a Woody Allen character and much to my regret, I think I succeeded.

  10. Chris two hahahas in a day - v funny that you succeeded - I too aspired - but then realised that Allen's architype is a misthanropist.

    As a young romantic I thought he was the opposite. Indeed for many years I thought Manhattan was a very romantic film. Fool on me.

    That being said Hannah and her Sisters is still romantic and sections of Annie Hall make me smile and cry.

    Any other Woody fans out there? Wanna share your favourite moment?

    Hard to go past Lobster scene, "I'm into Leather", "Who else is she going to steal from" and the Marshall Mcluhan scene from "Annie Hall".

  11. HAHAHA I also have a touch of OCD, definitely full on ADD but part every other disorder you can think of!
    Also....Stephen! How could you give it away like that? Clearly you know what's going to happen because you have every email! Gah now all of my hopes of the good guy finally winning out are dashed.... I'm not ok with this.

  12. Really curious about that last sentence. Is she still with Marcus and is Dom trying to show that he's accepted them as a couple? Or has she stopped seeing Marcus and he's just trying to test her to see whether or not she will object being there with Marcus?

  13. He's obviously testing the waters... It's a cool ploy actually i've used before... Generally speaking however the girl gets tired of you fishing and says why don't you just ask me if I'm still with him? Or she'll be blunt and say Marcus and I would love to. Thus avoiding the awkwardness of a conversation about Marcus. He in turn is trying to play it as if he's cool and assumes she's with Marcus... Anyone who's been through this knows this only lasts so long... then he'll start asking what if's... to try to get her mind thinking about how a relationship could be with him... At least if I were a betting man that's where I'd put my money... but alas I'm a poor American, what do I know...

  14. Steph T, yes it was a little hint - but I didn't say they don't get together. Perhaps they don't. Perhaps they do. But love aint easy.

  15. Jason, I think he's subtly accessing information - or knows and is trying to play "I'm cool with it all" card. A little slef pain - but I presume he thinks it's better to be in her company even if - that not be in her company at all.

    Man, I've done that.

  16. Chris, you know a lot. I think you're spot on. It's as if you've read them all before

    or lived it :)

  17. Lived it unfortunately Stephen, am currently living it... not that I want to live vicariously through anyone, but some of the parallels are so uncanny I wonder if he's going to end up with her, or the girl he tries to forget about her with, and eventually starts falling in love with... if he does fall in love with her that is... Don't know if he can... Sometimes when you're in love you try any tactic in the world to fall out, you try your best to move on, you want to get back on that horse... Whoever said "Time heals all wounds", I take it, was never actually in love with anyone.

  18. I must be the only one who thought that last line was pretty weak on Dom's behalf. Unless she really is still with Marcus (which I doubt)-- he's way passed the point of beating around the bush with her. At least I *thought* he was. haha

  19. Chris, I know the feeling of trying to fall out of love when it doesn't seem to happen. I also know what you mean 'time heals all wounds' hmmmm
    sometimes not, right?

    Like absence makes the heart grow fonder...
    A friend of mine says it should be
    absence makes the heart go wander

  20. Anon (6:11) I think she is still with Marcus - sorry to say and he's being polite - because seeing her is better than not.


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