To: To: Oftenbark Borax
Sent: Saturday July 7th July, 1999 23:41 PM
Subject: Re Reference for Stacey Marchenkova
Dear Oftenbark thank you so much for the reference…I will certainly use it when I go for my next job…your words are certain to seal the deal…and I think it’s only fair to offer you a reference in return...so please find attached...
PS: See you tomorrow, my furry funny friend…
15/371 Brunswick Street
New Farm, Brisbane AUS
Saturday July 17th 1999
RE REFERENCE FOR OFTENBARK BORAX
To Whom it May Concern:
My name is Stacey Marchenkova and I’ve known Oftenbark Borax for quite a long time. We’ve been writing and discussing weighty issues for the last few months.
During this time, I have found Oftenbark to be a reliable source of valuable advice.
Now I know this could read hollow so let me share some specific moments for illumination.
To start with, Oftenbark is computer literate. Now call me foolish but I’m not aware of many dogs that can use Microsoft Word and Outlook Express.
Not only that he has conquered attachments and has a good grasp of the short cut keys. Unfortunately I can not attest for his skills with other software but I am certain that he could master any programme that’s placed in front of him.
But I don’t want to pigeon hole Oftenbark Borax as a simple desk jockey. He can do so much more than that.
Oftenbark is also a wit. He can be really funny, understanding that in itself a dog that chooses to communicate in the virtual world can be a mildly humourous concept.
But just existing in the virtual world is not enough for Oftenbark. His text is also funny too; revealing a dog that not only understands comic concepts but also the need and skill to fill the concept with comic elements.
So for these skills alone, I would recommend Oftenbark for any writing or even stand up performance gig.
But again, Oftenbark is capable of so much more.
Oftenbark also has a strong sense of literature and history.
I am delighted to have been introduced to the writings of Maya Angelou through Oftenbark. I wasn’t aware of her poetry and after his suggestion; I have now taken her words to heart.
Alaric 1st is another piece of historical teaching bestowed on me by this learned canine. This introduction has led me to reengage with my ancient history passion particularly the Fall of the Roman Empire.
See I adore a sad ending.
(and to note having both these references play against each other is not only testament of Oftenbark's expansive knowledge but also his understanding that clashing these two unlikely figures together is the academic essence of comedy – IE
“There’s an Englishman, Irishman, Maya Angelou and Alaric 1st sitting in a bar...”
The gag writes itself, doens’t it?)
So with these qualities, Oftenbark could easily take on the role of teacher in any capacity. He has taught me so much and I am proud to call him sir. Plus he’d look so damn cute in black teacher’s robes.
Finally Oftenbark is empathetic. This is a quality that I regard as a true definer in humanity. And to have it in a dog is humbling to say the least.
See, I am constantly battling my own sense of self importance and Oftenbark has shown me that the Universe isn’t just an idea in my head; other people exist, other people get sad, other people are affected by the tides.
So for these qualities: Technical competency, humour, exapansive knowledge, ability to communicate and empathy to aspire to, I whole heartedly recommend Oftenbark Borax for any challenge that is placed in front of him.
Simply if you have the fortune of hiring this dog, take it. He will change your business and life for the better.