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From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Sunday, May 16th, 1999 20:52 PM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE Another drink
Dom,
I don’t think we should write any more e-mails for a while.
Stacey.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
37th email
----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Sunday, May 16th, 1999 20:52 PM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE Another drink
Dom,
I don’t think we should write any more e-mails for a while.
Stacey.
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < mailto:printthisplease@printthis.com >
Sent: Sunday, May 16th, 1999 20:52 PM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE Another drink
Dom,
I don’t think we should write any more e-mails for a while.
Stacey.
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I do believe Dom just scared the shit out of her.
ReplyDeleteAndy, what do you think Dom should have done?
ReplyDeleteNo! I don't understand!
ReplyDeleteThings seemed to be going so well and she finally let him in, what happened??
I thought the last emails were sealing the deal, not pushing her away. Damn it that's so unfortunate!
(ST)
Being honest usually never has the effect you hope for.
ReplyDeleteEspecially coming from a guy.
I bet in his head it sounded good.
But she got scared.
Some people aren't being use to being the centre
of such strong feelings.
He should of held back a bit.
In the wise words of Mr. Austrem:
ReplyDeleteDAAAAAYYYYYYMMMMMMMM
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow... ... i can draw so many parallels to this. wow. .......... You know when something shocking happens.. and you know it shouldn't have come out that way.. and your heart just sinks? .. i think this is that. my heart just sunk.
ReplyDeleteThis exact thing happened to me.. and wow. ..i think i have something in my eye..
Fuck man..
I hope Dom doesn't overreact on this email.. -that could butcher things severely. None of it makes sense. And its not supposed to. Which is probably why i think Dom's next one is going to be really important..
Stacey's email could be a silly spur of the moment line of thought, just unnecessarily freaking out. She may immediately regret saying it. And it could just be something that shouldn't be read too seriously...
But if he's anything like me, which i think he is, he's gonna read that and feel like a tornado smashing through a firestorm. 0 - 100 in one sentence.
I agree and disagree with anon - he was quite open.. but then again so is she, so.. really.. ARGHH WHY DO PEOPLE FREAK OUT LIKE THIS!???? Stace wrote an email just as bad as this just the other day!! Its mutual.
Isn't this why its such a beautiful thing? ..in such an ugly place?
I don't understand why things need to get so complicated.. It really doesn't.. But then again.. who the hell has heard of a simple relationship? Wish it didn't have to be this way..
All these facades.. and mixed feelings over stupid little things. And questions. Questions about what you're feeling. If you feel something, that is what you feel. Nothing more. Nothing less. And what happens if wanted to tell someone? What happens if everything you actually said.really.was.real? And you just wanted to say it. because it is what it is.. Does it matter so much to sound stupid and insecure?
Stacey really should have given Dom something more in that email, ..unless she wanted to break it off completely. But i think deep down all of us know that probably isn't what she wants.
Still.. why put it that way if something wasn't seriously wrong?
Pardon me. While i burst. into flames.
Fuck
I think he pushed it to far. He made it clear that he was falling for her, he's the master of thinly veiled messages. He practically wrote a page that repeated the message: I want you to be a part of my life.
ReplyDeleteShe saw this and got scared that their relationship was turning away from this intellectual-psychological friendship that had grown so fond of.
She did say "for awhile" which means she doesn't want to break it off completely. She just wants him to wait for a bit and maybe when they talk again things will be back to a more comfortable level.
You can't just leave us in the lurch like this!!!
ReplyDeletegive us another post, please please please, quick!!!
AM
ST, I didn't understand either. It is unfortunate. I agree. There must me something else going on. There must be.
ReplyDeleteJC, I miss Mr Austrem.
ReplyDeleteHiranga, you are a truthful and beautiful writer. I am sure that whomever you write emails for is one lucky person.
ReplyDeleteAndy, nice pick up of 'for a while' I hadn't noticed it. I reckon it'll give Dom hope. I hope.
ReplyDeleteAM - I'm sorry for leaving you in the lurch. A reply will be up on Sunday. I promise.
ReplyDeleteYou know, sometimes it ain't all about you. Hard to believe I know. But we are all so self absorbed that our immediate assumption is it has to be something about us.
ReplyDeleteIf she wanted nothing to do with him she would have done nothing.
the poster formerly known as (s)
Maybe it's not necessarily a negative thing.. she could be implying that they should spend more time together in person.
ReplyDeleteShane are you saying that Stacey's actions might not be an effect of Dom's cause? That it might be something else? Nothing to do with him?
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting.
Anon; I love your optimism. It's truly wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHiranga, I thoroughly enjoy your comments. Please keep them up.
ReplyDelete(ST)
Yes please do, Hiranga. And you too ST. But where's Lance?
ReplyDeleteA similar thing happened to me once, and with hindsight, I should have taken the hint and not wasted so much of my life.
ReplyDeleteDom, that's your cue — run!
hiranga ... don't burst into flames...please.. it will be all right... even if it isnt that will eventually be alright too...so stay and dont burn..shane its about him and its about her.. unfortunately... i am really sure... i want to slap her in the face!... but i am still going with it will be alright eventually ..
ReplyDeleteThat's the most sensible suggestion we've heard in this whole discourse, quite right Stacey, enough of this indulgent waffle, action's what you want, get your glad rags on, get out there and have some real fun. You're an artist, you've got everything you need, and you don't need to sit on a computer everynight listening to that twaddle. Get out there and find yourself a real man. Go girl, I'm behind you everystep of the way, get on a plane and I'll show you a good night out, cos you seem lovely, oh god I'm getting quite excited. Oh no none of this is real, or is it, or this is from a different time?
ReplyDeletePerhaps Stacey thinks she's getting too involved, I mean she did she was a self proclaimed nihilist, perhaps she feels that she's giving up on that for Dom, and it scares her? Who knows, I can relate to what Hiranga said, my heart did drop when I read this email.
ReplyDeleteI just hope Dom doesn't screw it up with his reply, I can't imagine how he must've felt when he read that...
Chris, I wonder if Dom will run? How long did you stick around for?
ReplyDeleteAnon, I agree Hiranga - don't burst into flames.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm an optimist too. I think it will be alright in the end. It has to.
Wow and Flutter, I love following your thought patterns as they quickly collapse on themselves. Very funny.
ReplyDeleteDux, but isn't that love? Giving up your persona to the relationship? Hopefully love helps push us past our identity and reveals something deeper.
ReplyDeleteI think your comments are quite provocative and smart. Stacey is fighting her 'self proclaimed nihilist' identity and fighting it hard. I only hope Dom can keep pushing and perhaps reveal something deeper about himself too.
I agree with stephen and Yes Hiranga is a beautiful writer and yes burst into flames what a great metaphor for this relationship the ultimate glow a great dream sequence for a movie
ReplyDeleteFollowed by the realization like all of said no don't do that anjd why did it ever cross my mind the email the thought is boring the couple together live is the bursting into flames are unrequited love I remember it well
Thank you Anon for your comments. And I adore how this is becoming a Hiranga love-fest.
ReplyDeleteAlso Anon you have a lovely sense of poetry about your comment. Thank you.
I cant believe she freaked out that much. After so much contact, meeting etc. I would've said the same thing.....
ReplyDeleteI think she started to remember her beliefs. If you notice, as the two always meet up, they begin drifting into their pasts which, in turn, comprise their present. Their 2nd night was a discussion of fond memories and complete openness. While Dom is basically a classic case of paranoia reaching out for someone to hold, Stacey can be genuinely self-loathing and tries not to get attached to anyone so that she won't be able to hurt them and vice versa. Stacey is now starting to see that she's betraying her own beliefs for a guy she met a costume party once, despite how genuine their connection is. Call her a misanthrope, but she's sticking to her guns in the long run, and though it's an ambiguous twist ended with either Dom's trust smashed to pieces and not another email sent, or a beginning of flaming and odd questioning from Dom to an unresponsive Stacey, we will never know for sure what happened. All we can really take a guess at is that Stacey remembered that she is indeed a "for the moment and nothing else" kind of girl, and her reasons, while seemingly trivial, are emotionally valid. Stacey doesn't want to betray her strong beliefs, it's one thing she's proud to have, a badge of individualism as well as a shield to connection. It was either her abrupt stop of communication, or an inevitable betrayal of her values. Her values were obviously more important to her than some guy she hit it off with at a bar once.
ReplyDeleteAnon (posted 2:34) how do you think Dom should respond?
ReplyDeleteAnon (posted 3:00) I love your analysis. It's such a slippery slope when you compromise your values for someone else. The perfect scenario is the couple's values evolve together as they get closer.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one still stuck on the mention of Marcus and his strange behavior the next day during their phone conversation, in Dom's last email?
ReplyDeleteI think something went down between Marcus and Stacey.
Nick, you might have gloating rights shortly.
ReplyDelete@Stephen D. Now I'm going to be wondering far too much about this.
ReplyDeleteThis all is reminiscent of the film "500 Days of Summer". Stacey's live style of "In the Present" and Summer's inability (or unwillingness) to accept love as it is, both inhibit them from fully comprehending what has been placed before them. Both men have fallen head over heels for a woman, and in the moment that their words have culminated into a pinnacle and spectacle of passion between man and woman, she drops a single sentence atomic bomb to blow it all up.
I think this letter is my younger brother who stumbled into my room and knocked down the Lego towers I built as a kid. And even though it may be sad to see its demise, in hindsight, they'll look back and see that it was only them caught up in the moment.
All this said, though, and I still can't finalize it. None of my speculation is for certain, but the story has been unraveled, and nothing we say or hope for can change it.
I'd love for this to become more widely known, in hopes that Stacey and Dom can look back and see that no matter how this all turned out (good or bad), that when the curtain was drawn to a close, it impacted someone, somewhere.
--Jonathan H.
PS. I feel that reading these letters has changed the way I write. I'm usually not this wordy (maybe fluent is the word I'm looking for, or maybe not). Oh well.
Oh, and to further back up my thought that this is the start of the end, notice her use of periods. For the last 3 letters, she's used ellipses to complete her sentences, trying to linger on with her thoughts, but this time, it's truncated with periods, denoting an end to her hopes or wishes.
ReplyDeleteThe whole structure is very commonplace. Not on whim or emotion, like many of her other responses so seem to be.
--Jonathan H.
Hi Jonathan H, welcome to Bored Olives. I think your comments are wonderfully competing with Hiranga's for comment of the day. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteI love your allusion to 500 days of Summer. Both Stacey and Summer have similarities, Though I hope Stacey harbours deeper feeling for Dom.
I also think your acknowledgment of Stacey's punctuation is acutely observed. Missed it myself. I think others will enjoy; knowing that.
Finally, I agree I wish this was more well known. I adore the comments and the interactions. But hope that perhaps this could reach a wider audience.
So here's my plea to anyone reading this comments. Please spread the word. Facebook it. Link it. Place it on forums. Email the link. Spray Bored Olives on office blocks.
Of course you also might want to keep it private. Just you, Dom and Stacey.
I'm going to say it, I am assuming that you have read all these emails, AND THUS TAG LINED YOUR BLOG WITH "An Email Love Story".
ReplyDeleteI can thus stupidly hope for a happy ending.
- Cariss
lol.. gosh.. you guys are making me blush :) Hey where is that Lance character? We've bn missing his outlandish comments for quite a while now :P
ReplyDelete..oh dear.. Stephen, i wish i didn't hear what i just heard [re: this Marcus fellow.] I read it, and was thinking what the hell - mildly creepy - but okay, and then kept reading the rest of the email..
One of the earlier comments was about how sometimes it may have nothing to do with Dom. I totally agree. Unfortunately it's those kind of things that create voids in the communication between two people.. especially when only one person knows what is going on, and the other person has no idea how to help (or understand it) and it is completely outside of their control. ..It still affects the second person, given he/she cares about the other.
Maybe there should be something like a golden ratio for relationships:
Mutual Trust factor must be greater than or equal to Mutual Care factor. So then you can stress less, cos u trust the person.
It must be the whole blogging after midnight thing -that was just way too idealistic of me.
Perhaps if we go to bed early, Sunday and the next letter may come sooner..
Goodnight fellow Olives.
Blimey! The comments boomed over the past few days.
ReplyDeleteI think the concept of love differs between people. For example "Giving up your persona to the relationship?" I think this is strictly applies for us hopeless romantic types, changing certain things about ourselves to cater to our love. Most people tend to just live and tolerate it, rather than change themselves.
Thank you for the compliment! I too hope Dom can keep pushing it, it'd not only be disappointing to us readers if the E mails just stopped, but it would be disappointing to Dom too, for his hard work and perseverance to have been for nothing.
Oh god, please tell me nothing happened between Stacey and Marcus. When I read that part of the last email I was suspicious but didn't think anything of it.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping come Sunday, some of the confusion expressed in this email and the previous comments will be gone. Hopefully the next post will bring better news......
..and hopefully Dom doesn't make it worse...
Cariss, very funny.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to smugly say that I could have called the subtitle 'an email loveless story' but that would've been too cocky.
(and not true)
Hiranga, good morning to you fellow olive and golden ratio wiz'.
ReplyDeleteDux, the comments have boomed - so thank you to all for taking the time to talk.
ReplyDeleteAnon (8:34am) - I'm giving nothing away.
ReplyDeleteStephen Davis (3:15) I would say he needs to let it sit with her, maybe give it 2 weeks before he sends her another email. Personally I think she'll email first.
ReplyDeleteAnan, I hope she emails first. But it might be too ahrd for Dom to take. He might want answers. I would.
ReplyDeletePlease. Post. More. Now.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow, Anon - there'll be a post tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI just read about this on my expat forum... I live alone in Dubai and to see this true (hopefully -- im painfully paranoid too) story of love between two people who are so expressive through the written word is beyond beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis world that they have made up for themselves reinforces the world that Dom talks about where "the rest of us" are a singular collective while they are the only individuals.
Maybe that's what is scaring Stacey, maybe she wants to be the only true individual... all this time of alienating herself and thinking of herself as this cut-off-from-the-others-artistic-old-soul is already a big part of her psyche. Whoosh that was one long sentence, but please indulge me... this blog is way too human for me.
Please let the next post be positive... I have spent all of this day going through all the posts and comments, analyzing and overanalyzing each thought and I'm as deeply influenced by D&S as I am by Stephen Davis, Hiranga, Dux, Wow&Flutter, Lance and now Jonathon H... thanks for being u guys/girls
Ipshi, welcome to the site. I can read from your comment that you'll be another exciting voice in what is becoming a fascinating and safe place for honest thought.
ReplyDeleteI never anticipated that such a beautiful discussion would result and in the words of one commentator; I thank you all for 'striving to be honest.'
And what is most affirming is though Hiranga has given us a collective; 'olives' - I can read there are strong individual voices in here; voices trying ever so hard to find a place in the bigger collective.
Again, thank you all.
My heart broke a little bit just now. My money is on Marcus. I hope I'm wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened when he read this is all too familiar to me.... First he had to read it about ten times... just that one small sentence because he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him... followed by the inability to swallow or speak, then out of nowhere a great wall of fire rises up like a phoenix from the ashes to his head until his face reflects the red inside of him... then he searches his entire vocabulary for the exact right thing to say because he has never been so alone and so lost.... been here before... can't wait to see what he says.
ReplyDelete