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Sunday, July 11, 2010

34th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Friday, May 14th, 1999 23:38 PM
Subject: RE RE another drink


You’d be a great musician. I’d buy your CDs. Indeed:

I’d buy your CDs and beg you for an autograph.

I’d buy your CDs to give to friends for birthdays and holidays.

I’d steal your CDs.

I’d buy your CDs, return them and buy them again.

I’d buy your CDs, leave it on the train so some stranger would pick it up and listen
to it.

I’d buy your CDs - go to the Library - leave it there - hire it – not take it out and tell others to hire it so more people would listen to it.

I’d buy more copies of your CDs to keep my copy company.

I’d buy one special copy of your CD to keep in my CD player all the time.

I’d buy your CD and listen to it in coffee shops and aeroplanes so people will think I’m interesting.

I’d buy one of your CDs and keep it private. Just for me.

I’d buy your CDs, get the rights and make a light Opera from it that makes people wanna buy your CD after seeing said light opera.

I’d buy your CDs, rip out the liner notes and make a CD suit out of it.

I’d buy your CDs and make castles out of it.

I’d buy your CDs and proudly tell people that I knew the songwriter once; indeed we met at the Norman one night and wolfed down a steak in 1999.

See you tomorrow night.

Warmly and musically.


  1. ohh hahaha. I don't know what to say.. LOL.. ahhh ....wass this a little excessive of him?? Oh its so funny. And cringeable, CRINGE FACTOR = TEN.

    but judging by his track record thus far, im going to presume he gets away with it also !! haha almost criminal!

  2. Everyone knows he will just pirate it anyway.

  3. This is adorable.
    My favourite line is
    "I’d buy your CDs, leave it on the train so some stranger would pick it up and listen
    to it."
    While this is very grammatically incorrect, it is still beautiful. Music is quite often one of the most pure expressions of self. The fact that most of the lines of this email imply that he wants to share her music with the world is impeccably cute. It shows that what she has shown him, he likes and he wants everyone to see as much of her as he has.
    (This could be completely wrong, but it's my interpretation of it and it's perfectly fine if anyone disagrees.)

  4. Been keeping tabs on all this. I absolutely adore reading these e-mails (and can't wait for the next entry). I love the honesty. Somtimes, I cringed when so much of it is given so freely but I also envy these two for being able to open up. I feel like I want aspire to become this honest.


  5. What a dribbling dweeb, deservedly he should be dumped

  6. Is Dom really being "honest" if all he wants is his d*** sucked?

    I apologize for my crassness but it's only because I completely relate to this whole situation. 10 years ago I had an email partner under similar circumstances. I wrote some poetic, flattering, and self-revealing shit similar to these Dom emails and not because I really meant it but because I figured it was a fast track to me grabbing some boobies and busting a nut or two.

    And generally speaking, have I ever been "honest" with pre-coital dicourse? Truly, probably not. But has anyone?

    But then again, maybe Dom is being honest. There's a chance he meant all that crap he said.

    And maybe I was being honest 10 years ago. Maybe I was in love. and maybe my current cynicism is based on the failure to establish a meaningful relationship with that girl with the nice boobies from yesteryear? But even that is a dismissive comment to make about my first true crush (true in the sense that it was truly attainable). Fuck, when did I become so jaded?

    Jaded or realistic?

    I guess you never know the veracity of a "relationship" unless you have the balls (or ovaries) to address it up front.

    Maybe why I've always gravitated towards prostitution. Whatever it isn't it's at least honest.

    I would love if Dom said "I find you attractive...and I definitely want to f*** you a few times and then afterwords we'll see how we feel about each other." I could never be that honest but I think that that's an admirable quality.

    Apologies again for the self-indulgence of this post. I think my original point was to say we can't be too quick to judge the honesty of these emails (knowing what I know about myself) but quickly got sidetracked. either way I love this ongoing exchange between Dom and Stacey. For me it is both a trip down memory lane and somewhat therapeutic. Part of me hates these people and yet I can't get enough of the hosts of Masterchef.

  7. Hiranga, I thought it was really sweet. Yet I do fear that his attempts at being supportive might seem over the top. Maybe not.

  8. JC, or at least put it on a mix tape and claim undue authorship.

  9. ST, I really love your interpretation - I think it's really wise. I wonder if Stacey will pick up on this?

  10. Steph, what a great aim. Me too. I feel like I lie all the time. Tomorrow I'm going to try and be a little more honest. Thank you.

  11. Anon, dribbling dweeb...? Really? Dumped? And they're not even together!! So cruel. What advice would you give? What would satisfy you?

  12. Lance, I think your comment is better than the post itself. Amazing. As you always are. And not self indulgent at all. Not at all.

    For those reading these comments, I'm very curious to hear your response.

  13. Ughh.. you know.. I do agree with Lance to some extent.. that it is the nature of the human being. But at the same time i believe in the power of having a conscience. And i wouldn't overlook that without closely examining - i mean, it could be possible that he's just overwhelmed by how attracted he is to her.

    Perhaps his reaction is a quite immature to this emotion, or maybe Lance is right. He might be pulling something.. But personally i doubt its the latter - they're both so messed up, i think he's just losing it and unleashing a little too much of himself, and yeah it is rather cute (i think Lance will agree with me here - its wayyy too cute for our realities, and for my taste quite a bit unbearable) but anyway Stacey appears to be liking it so who cares right?

    I also concur with what Lance seems to be feeling. The whole jaded or realistic thing.. i feel ya man. Relationships take their toll. Umm .. this will probably come off really soft ..but what the hell, i'll put it out anyway - As much as I admit that sometimes i might feel like i just want to have sex, there's another part of me that knows if i don't mean it and i end up hurting her.. it just wouldnt be right. On my part. Sometimes.. sometimes maybe you both know its just to satisfy the urges. And so it doesnt matter.

    On many levels we are just animals. Sometimes there are things that instinctually you feel like doing. Sometimes in the moment, you live for the moment. And you don't think twice about it. But having a conscience though, gives us some control over all of that. I broke up with a girl a while back.. because.. although things were great. Something was missing. And so before i would hurt her more by going further with the relationship, i pulled the plug.

    Sometimes having a conscience means you sacrifice your own desires for some sort of good that is more important. Soft. I know. But what the hell do you do if you know sometihng is wrong. And something is right?

    I don't think Dom is playing her. But being the extremely nice cutesy guy can come off as adorable; perhaps immature; or (leaning to the darkside) manipulative. And if Dom gets blown off by Stacey because she doesn't trust him.. when he does happen to be genuinely falling for her.. well.. i suppose he may end up feeling a lot like Lance and myself.

    ..Jaded. or realistic. Take your pick.

  14. I'm going with a little from column a and a little from column b.

    There is pretense, there is artiface but it's based in truth. No one is completely honest - even with themself so it's ridiculous to expect them to be honest with someone they want to influence. (and let's not forget this is an email conversation - you can't edit in real life).

    And on the the other hand sometimes we think we are pretending when in fact it's how we really feel. Our lies reveal the truth: just not always to us.

    We all pretend, we all manipulate, we all want to connect with someone however we can - and that ain't bad or wrong or jaded or realistic.

    It's kind of lovely and sad.

  15. Lance, you could be right. I thought of the option of that myself as I have been reading these. The thing that makes me believe him is the thought of 'Who would go through all this trouble just to get laid?'
    The other thought I had was that if he did just want that, why wouldn't he just tell her?
    It is commonly believed that men want sex more than women do and they are the ones always trying to scam it out of girls. Let me tell you that I know many women who want sex much worse and much more often than most of the guys I know.
    If he just wants a quick lay out of this I think he should just tell her and stop beating around the bush.

  16. I have to say that I'm loving this discussion. I truly thank you all for your honesty and care in the expression.

    It continues to give me faith that maybe we're not all that bad because there is doubt.

    As for my own take, I agree with Anon. All communication is manipulation. I'm not completely convinced Dom is doing it to get laid.

    I suspect he simply loves the idea of love.

  17. i really like what Anonymous said - "its kind of lovely and sad."

    hmmmmmm. :)

  18. he is a bit of a sap isn't he lol x


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