Email me

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

33rd email

----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < >
Sent: Friday, May 14th, 1999 21:11 PM
Subject: Another drink

Here I am…sitting at home again…Friday night…feeling sorry for myself…

Where are my friends…shouldn’t I be out with them…getting drunk...and talking about the television shows we watched as kids:

…do you remember Fraggle Rock? What about Bert and Ernie sharing a bath…? What about The Tomorrow People? I loved that show… what about the commercial with the talking cat warning you about something or other? Or that Christian ad where the glass-eyed boy sang a rhetorical ‘hello’…

You know what I mean…? Surely you do that with friends…

It all starts polite, then people try to impress with their smart-arse knowledge…

then it gets all popular culture…

then gangs split off based on shared smart-arse knowledge…

then a hierarchy builds based on who has the best recall…

then the geeks inherit the earth…

and the rest of us turn mean

Anyway…here I was with my head going a million miles an hour…feeling hollow and your email arrives…I have someone who cares, I think…

Then I get annoyed…

This is the very reason I live and only live in the present because it makes me crazy to worry about what people think of me…

And I cry…I always cry…I hate crying…makes me look like a fucking puffer fish…

I especially hate crying over stupid things like;

Why hasn’t anyone asked me out

See, I like to cry over the small moments. The man eating alone in the restaurant or the smell of a storm coming…or that great pop lyric… or that great piece of urban art… or the child with a red balloon…

This is what I like to cry about, not WHY DON”T PEOPLE LIKE ME!!??

Then I read your email and your invitation in the post script to have another drink makes the world turn again…

It’s a moment…it’s the present (and though I dwell on it now) at the time it fixed everything and reminded me of my life philosophy.


I thank you for that, Dom, I really do. And in principle, let’s have another drink…perhaps we can bump into each other accidentally at my local (The Norman) tomorrow night. I'm usually (if the moment takes me) wolf down a steak around 7:00ish.


ps Okay so you want to know what my ambitions are…? Well to be honest I try not to have any because it contradicts my life philosophy…but I am human…and I have…in moments of weakness…thought it would be amazing to be a musician/songwriter… (I play the piano a little and the ukulele a lot)

pps and you also want to know what I do for work...I work in a bar in the Valley…drunk people are so funny…

ppps and yes I want the last word... so Dog Suggestion name #14: Sir Pantsalot (I wanted to say Kennel Everett – but thought that was too lame as the last word)


  1. I hope Dom replies "Okay, what does that mean? All of it."

  2. Yes!! That would be quite tha funny if he did hahaha. Ohh man. I think i love this Stacey person! Despite the fact that she's obviously crazy. Crazy in an awesome way lol - i mean, how can you not love someone that plays the ukulele!??

    Ah! :D

  3. Burn along, burn along, burn along. It's a lovely hell. What's my emails doing here on this blog, mutha fucka! S.Marchenkova xoxox

  4. Simon Marchenkov heheheheh!!! No relation. Gotcha. Lookin' down from here in Canada. Hello Brisbaine! Hello Austraila!!!!!!! Alberta gods!!!!!!

  5. I only started reading today and just got through to this one. I have to say that I am glad that I did not start reading earlier as the suspense would have killed me and is now proceeding to do so. These emails are beautiful and raw and full of emotions.
    This last one has made me finally enjoy Stacey rather than resent her for being so cold to someone who (despite his occasional blunders) seems to be an amazing individual. It makes me happy that he has coaxed her from her walls and extracted a small moment of truth, vulnerability and beauty.
    I absolutely love that she finally shared her current work situation. Not only that but she let loose her ambitions (which I was honestly starting to believe she had none of) and thoroughly shocked me!
    I am glad that you are sharing these, this made my day!

  6. Simon Marchenkov, you scared me for a second are you sure you're not a relative?

  7. Thanks ST, you have made my day. I think your observations of the dynamics between the two is spot on. And I love your thought:

    "It makes me happy that he has coaxed her from her walls and extracted a small moment of truth, vulnerability and beauty"

    I sometimes wish someone could do that for me.

  8. Glad I could produce a mutual feeling!
    I'm also sure that some day you will find someone who can. Everybody has a match, some just hide better than others. It's like the card game "Go Fish", you just have to keep trying and guessing until you get it right.

  9. Oh Stacey - you are just too cool. Kennel Everett is the perfect last one but then you knew that and now, technically, it is!

    I predict a swift response from Dom.


  10. ST? An uncreative pseudonym for Estee? Is she secretly much smarter than I thought?

  11. S, I agree - I think Stacey is cool. I hope I meet her one day.

  12. Come on Estee - please PLEASE defend yourself!

  13. Fetcher Christian= genius! Please tell me the dog names will continue.

  14. Heidi, sorry that was the last dog name (at least for a while) love you're blog too. Anyone who's reading these comments, check it in links under Heidi Regan.

  15. Ohh Stephen, that would explain a lot !! hahaha jk!! :D, oh but i am feeling tha love. This is awesome :)

  16. Sorry, no uncreative pseudonyms here. Just my initials. Equally as uncreative, not nearly as much attempt to disguise.


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