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Sunday, June 6, 2010

20th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Saturday, May 8th, 1999 13:43 PM
Subject: Please ignore the last e-mail

Good morning.

Gulp.

Okay I’ve had a cup of tea and bacon sandwich. I’m hung-over but lucid. I turned on the computer and looked in my sent box. To my horror I saw I’d sent you three e-mails in the wee small hours of the morning.

I read them.

I felt sick.

Please ignore it.

I’m a dick.


Dom

PS have you looked closely at the title of the last drunken email? I mistakenly called it ‘I’m so sorry prat 3’ how apt.

PPS and I’m not the only one embarrassed this morning. I had a chat with my dog, Oftenbark. He agrees. I am a dick (‘cause that tilt of the head and that look says a thousand woofs). He suggests, that for penance, I should give him five walks a day and 100 choc’ drops. My dog is so opportunistic. But I love him.

12 comments:

  1. Estee, please defend yourself...

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  2. Offenbark is the winner here when you can lick your balls and get free treat while your owner has the pangs and passion and dire drunken mistakes of love what a premise Hooch without the badge
    Noel

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  3. I like animals therefore I'm not a psychopath.

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  4. W and F - I think you've picked his tactics. Do you think he's doing it consciously? And what might his next tactic be?

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  5. He is almost acting too unsure. Too flustered. It seems a little put on. I can tell, as its the tactic that got me a girlfriend or two.

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  6. Unfortunately, I dont have a Twitter to follow this. But Oftenbark obviously plays a pivotal role in this mans life.. I would be curious as to what Dom's reaction towards Stacey might be if she accidently reversed too fast in her 4WD and made him Flattenbark.

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  7. Sam, poor flattenbark - and hopefully Dom wouldn't taxiderm the poor beast and call him stuffenbark (you can follow if you have a google account - gmail etc)

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  8. Wow... there emails are so compelling.
    I have an awful pessimistic part of myself (perhaps I'm scared to get my hopes up) that this is all going to end badly for them both.
    But Dom has me hooked - projecting a dog when really he was talking about his conscience was sheer genius. Who can stay mad at the owner of a wise and opportunistic pooch?
    Can Stacey keep up the hijinks?

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  9. Ross, I love your comments. I wish I'd been smart enough to prject my true id through the medium of my Pet. Love to hear more of your wisdom.

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