Email me

Sunday, May 1, 2011

196th email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Tuesday July 30th, 1999 23:43 PM
Subject: RE bad

I miss you too, my big fat old slut.

What are you doing tomorrow? I’m working.

Boring day.

I‘ll be thinking of you as try to sell fellow students copies of Bronte or Cervantes.

That will help me survive.

Indeed I will take a paper plate from the University refectory and put it on my head; upside down.

I will spray paint my Nick Cave T-Shirt silver and sponge-stain it to look like armour.

I will then foster a sword from one of the wooden pickets that hold up the picture of Eron Broadhurst for Union President that have sprout from the earth with great fervour over the last week.

Then, by placing two ergonomic chairs from the back of the bookstore together and placing a some tourist tattle rug that my Day Manager insists on calling a piece of authentic Peruvian art over the top, I will crudely manufacture my nag, my Rocinante to carry me on my chivalrous adventures.

Once kitted out I will then attack those windmill leviathans on the Basketball courts and truly offer help to those that never want it.

I will be your Don Quixote, dear Dulcinea del Toboso. I will ride my nag into your romantic, horny palace. I will prove my worth by changing the world.

Or so I’ll ponder as a bash keys on the cash register, selling myriad copies of Dickens for Dummies while keeping my bone idle eye on the clock.



PS I’m not actually mad, by the way. It’s just - with you coming into my life - everything else has been made unbearable as comparison.


  1. I think I swooned on that PS.

  2. SIGHHHH....

    "with you coming into my life - everything else has been made unbearable as comparison..."


  3. Gah, it's not even cute anymore now that they're fucking. I wish I were more easily satisfied.

  4. After a year of emails ive just started skipping past his jokes and comparisons and seeing if there is anything interesting in the PS. That makes me sad :(

  5. I'm with the others here. His comparison-y, euphemistic emails used to be funny. This one was just a bit slow =/

  6. It seems almost as if he's trying really hard to make this what she wants it to be, and then throwing in his own sincerity in the post script...

  7. Haha what a time to come back to!
    A couple weeks back everyone was so excited at the prospect of Dom and Stacy finally being together! Now that they are though (in a not so nice way), the hoping and wishing for their "happily ever after" is gone.

    Real life isn't all rainbows, puppy dogs and sunshine.

    Who knows what's to come? (except Stephen of course)

    I for one enjoyed this email. Especially " I will prove my worth by changing the world."

    If only my man would say that to me! LOL

    P.S. Being mom to 2 babies is tough! Props to all parents out there!


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