243rd email

From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Monday September 28st, 1999 9:36AM
Subject: RE I am so Sorry


Hey Stacey, I think it’s me that needs to apologise. I was off the radar for a week and didn’t let you know. I am so sorry for that. It was selfish of me. Of course it would send you into a tizzy (sp?). It would send me into a tizzy (sp?).

For what it’s worth let me explain:

See this city is intense. This job is intense. My boss is intense.

Indeed she’s crazy and not in an interesting way. She flips out one day, crying and yelling and is nice as pie the next.

I’ve even been collecting some of the things she says and writing them down in a little book.

You never know, I might use them one day in that great novel I will never write.

So as a sneak preview, here are a couple of overheard gems from my cubicle next to the toilets, under the air con, at the back of the Fox Television demountable offices.

“I am smarter than you and don’t forget it.”



“I don’t do that emotion.”



“I think I know most of the words in the English Language.”



“Hold me. I need some comfort”

And these are just a few.

Her name is Pamela by the way and she’s addicted to exercise and personal growth.

ME (Wryly to Himself): Two very generous and caring and empathetic ideas. Hey?

But her addiction is only strong if others are addicted too. So she pushes them down our throats; urging – NAY – insisting that we all exercise and read Louise Hay.

Indeed the Louise Hay kick is so strong that we can’t leave the office until we offer up our daily affirmation.

“When I wake up tomorrow, I will be better person than I was today. I will have more money on my pocket, less fat in my blood and I will stop using the word nay.”

She makes us work stupid hours 7:00am to 8:00pm and expects us also to be on call for Breakfast meetings prior to 7:00 if needed.

She is a passionate teetotaler, who thinks those that imbibe at lunch have a problem. And all Australians are alcoholics.

She also monitors all emails – fearing we might be talking about her behind her back.

Which we do.

When we get drunk at Lunchtimes.

So with all this it has been tricky. Not to mention the Mormon Kids show is in a ditch at the moment and Pauly Shore complained to Pamela about me.

Not sure where this is all going. I’ve got to be out of the hotel by the end of the week and there’s no apartment on the horizon.

I’ve talked to Dad about flushing me another week’s tariff for the hotel. But I haven’t heard back. So if you speak to him could you give a nudge?

So again, my darling – I am so sorry for silence. But I am determined to break the rules and send you emails whenever I can. Actually it makes it quite exciting.

Screw Pamela. No controlling moron is going to get in the way of my love letters.



Love ya



Dom