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Sunday, May 16, 2010

14th email

----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Marchenkova
To: dom borax < >
Sent: Friday, May 7th, 1999 11:29 AM
Subject: RE RE RE RE RE RE RE WOW You’re up early

Dom, I just want to prepare you…I might not be there tonight…

having a moment of panic…I kinda feel sick and I’m not sure - but this morning, I think I saw a rash forming on my skin that looks like letters…I’m not joking…I looked in the mirror and I swear I could see the word ‘doubt’…

and not only that I could see punctuation too…a semi colon…really…and it made me think of time and rhythm and perhaps I was truly betraying my values…that maybe this moment we had decided to share was an semi colon…a break in the random pattern where anything can happen…a moment to take it in…pause…reflect…and then start to fear, hate, judge and doubt…fuck I’m sure it said doubt…

So I bought some camomile lotion and it seemed to calm me a little…I even drank a little of it and feel better… :)

But if it flares up again:

I’m going to smash all the clocks,
toast some bread,
make a tent out of my doona
and stay home in bed.

And truly it has nothing to do with you…you wouldn’t want to spend the night with a fuck-up like me anyway.


Ps or maybe the collectives for collectives could be… a church of collectives…?


  1. Whoa, that was beautiful...and depressing

  2. didn't expect that. never expected her to fear HER feelings. wow. nice to see her sense of humour (drinking camomile). these two are a heartbreak of lovers.

  3. Yas' - I know - I felt the same way. Made me feel bloody sad. Though I've felt that way too.

  4. Duncan - I love your collective for lovers - a heartbreak of lovers.

  5. It's funny isn't it, all this conspires to make me think she's a real catch. the doubt, the phantom punctuation, the drinking of chamomile.

    the doona tent... for two (when/if) : can it be as good as this?

  6. voila! Though looks like she's playing hard to get and she's keen to portray herself as a kind of mystical poet, she knows he'll take the bait. This really is the meeting of two romantics, Goths obviously, in a late 90's sense.

  7. I think Dom himself opened the door to this emotional confessional... if he hadn't been so forthcoming about his paranoia (o..i...a) in the last email, Stacey would have not found the angle into this tragedy! Can't wait to read more.
    Stephen, thanks for posting this brilliant stuff!


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