Posts
From: Dom Borax
To: Stacey Marchenkova
Sent: Tuesday, June 1st, 1999 6.05 AM
Subject: A new week.
Dear Stacey,
I did opt for number 10. And it’s now one week later.
Weird week too. As you can probably guess I likes me ole email.
So it was painful indeed.
I attempted to watch all the Merchant Ivory films but by the time I got to Howard’s End my flatmate, Elsa found me being passive aggressive to some inanimate objects and subtly sleazy to others (can you guess which?).
So the computer stayed off and I embraced the world (in case I shagged it – give away!!!).
Wednesday was the worst.
Cold turkey. Ate a turkey.
And tried to stop thinking the computer was actually watching me.
Thursday was easier. I ventured out of the house – bought a toasted chicken sandwich and rearranged the second hand records in Rocking Horse from my least favourite to favourite.
That night, I came home and put a blanket over the computer because I swear it scowled at me.
Friday I thought I should exercise - so slept for the day and dreamt that I married the computer in a civil ceremony (Bill Gates gave me away).
Saturday I moved the computer into the cupboard because I swear it was cheating on me with Steve Jobs.
Sunday I chased faith in various churches to see if there is a God. (I think he was running late)
When I got home, the computer had moved. It was now in my bed, begging for some break up sex.
Monday I want to Uni and got into an argument with a philosophy major over Star Wars. Fuck, I hate myself.
I then came home and took it out on the computer – was really cruel to it -– “You think you know everything, but you don’t know how to feel!”
So I put the computer back in the cupboard and locked the door this time.
Tuesday I woke early in a fever, got the computer out of the cupboard and finally turned it on. It refused to speak to me, hovering around dos with that awful blinking silence of the flashing cursor.
Eventually it did speak. It groaned and crashed.
I rebooted it with love, saying ‘there there’ in safe mode and it softened.
And then I e-mailed you.
How has your week been?
Dom
PS I like Doctor Who by the way. Tom Baker really. Have you ever seen Horror at Fang Rock? Cheap as shit but kinda creepy.
PPS So do you forive me?
PPS I really liked your Jenny Wrangler story.
